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“People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another.  And I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world:  They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters.  They get excited over one smile.  They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound.  They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes.  Over time, though, the small changes add up.  Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.”  Beth Clark

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse. The Cost.

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Great Resource Site with Lots of Information for Survivors and those of you who know someone who has survived.  Healing has a lot to do with the environment the Survivor is in.  Are you aware?  Are you compassionate?  Are you hard on the person, not taking into account how the abuse has impacted their entire life?  There is plenty for all of us to learn, to help these people heal.

ASCA – Adults Surviving Childhood Abuse

PAS – Let’s Talk About Step Moms.

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There are plenty of problems with step moms who overstep their boundaries with their step child and who make a difficult situation worse.

Your ego has NO PLACE in the situation you find yourself in.  You got involved with a man who has a history that involves his children from a previous marriage/relationship.  You clearly chose to be in this position.

The children come first.

This does not mean they are more important than your relationship with your partner, it simply means that life gives us a list of priorities.  Parents the world over manage to make their relationship important while tending to the number one priority of their children.  It is an 18 year commitment, at the least, and it does not change just because you change partners mid stream.  You can be part of the team but you cannot show up with your own boat and kidnap the children.

Forget about fighting anyone.  Forget about a competition.  There is only one intended winner in this and that is the child.  The child can only win if everyone realizes they are on the same team.

No badmouthing the mom.  No trying to replace the mom.  No keeping the child from the mom – EVER.  If you are going to pursue these practices then you are committing child abuse.  You look up Parental Alienation Syndrome and get ready because the courts are finally recognizing it and starting to hold the offenders accountable.  Even if you escape legal consequences, the children will eventually hold you accountable.   You will have to live with the knowledge you destroyed a child with your petty hate and anger.  It is not a legacy that is easy to live with as you go gentle into the final years of your life.

If your happiness depends on knowing that you have forced a mother to go to bed sobbing for her child, then you have a serious problem.  And you need help.

The following articles are insightful and helpful in encouraging people to work together and do the right thing for the children.

10 Brutal Truths About Being A Step Mom

Managing the Relationship Between Moms and Stepmoms

 

 

Compassion Network Daily

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There are those who complain about their lot in life and their are those that are too busy doing what has to be done to have time to complain.  One woman, making a difference for one other person.  She would probably argue that her life had great purpose and meaning, and he would most likely not have had a life without her.  Can we truly claim that one person cannot make a difference?  Compassion – the highest emotion known to man, having the most positive impact upon our DNA and the health of our bodies.  In helping others, we are actually choosing life for ourselves.

Reaching Our Reaching.

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I have a pretty clear idea of human beings. I see their dark and their light and am not consumed with the need to label ‘good,’ or ‘bad.”  I see simply nature and a journey.

Kids make mistakes, they can steal and lie, it does not make them career criminals. I know circumstances can push people beyond the protective action barrier they would normally respect in their every day lives.

Today is full of bad news, and conspiracies and agendas that seem hell bent on destroying us all. It depresses us. It can defeat us.

I don’t see the world that way.

I believe that we as human beings have the ability to overcome anything. It will require a journey of self where we learn to understand who we are, that we embrace our gifts and use them, that we love one another and support each other to make that same journey. It means letting go of our ideas about how that is accomplished and accepting that what works for me, may not have a snowball’s chance in hell as a method for you.

So, with what is left of my life, I want everything I do to help empower others. I want others to believe in their potential. I am not interested in measuring their abilities against mine and then feeling superior or less than, I simply want each individual I have the opportunity to touch to believe that they are not the sum total of just their mistakes, and that failure or success in this material, consumer oriented, competitive world is NOT an indication of value of anything meaningful. I want people to know that they will succeed by helping others to succeed and by success I mean they will find peace, happiness, joy, purpose …

Most of all I want our children to hear that message. I want them to see beyond the tinsel and seek substance in their life and not be limited in their visions by the mistakes we have made.

I refuse to see enemies in a colour, or a culture, or a religion, but I also refuse to be interrupted with petty hostility and the insecurities of others that cause them to engage in destructive behaviour in my life.  Neither am I going to drag people out of harms way, who are content to sit in the middle of a busy highway unaware of the danger. I am looking for those people who are ready, who, with a little encouragement, a word, a hand …want to make this journey.

I am always moving.

There is a growing spirit out there that is pulling people together. That spirit is free. It is the air we breathe. It is a choice we make. Forget the classes, the drugs, the gurus … Just breathe. If there is a higher power then surely he can get to us through calcium on a pineal gland? Can you not see that is just another way of saying you are not worthy until you have said your prayers and attended church every Sunday. WE ARE WORTHY. IF you accept there is a greater power that created the universe, or a power that connect us all, then that power CAN DO ANYTHING.

Belive. In. Yourself.

Breathe.