Category Archives: Blog Posts

types of writing

Dear Son

Letters From Home.

Dear Son – on the occasion of not having heard from you for months now …

Hi … It’s mom… remember me? Tall lady? You remember mom and dad? I was the shorter one on the team. I wore dresses and had breasts?

Try it with me now,say the word ? “MMMMMom….Mommmm….MOM ….” That’s it put your lips together and make a sound. Ring any bells yet?

Hope you got the money we sent you last time you called. Hope the car we bought for you is still doing well. Your dad and I hope to have one just like it when we finish paying for yours. It is hard sometimes to get my walker up the steps of the bus. Don’t worry, nothing serious, I slipped on the ice and fell on the sidewalk and lay buried in snow for several hours on my way to wire you more money. I am on the waiting list to get a new hip, if the local church is able to raise enough money to pay for it at the next Doily Extravaganza next month. Don’t worry if they can’t, I think hips are highly over-rated anyway, and it is not like I don’t have another one right? Continue reading Dear Son

Unpicking the Programming.

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My life was woven for me. Each stitch catching at pieces of who I was and tearing it away from the whole, isolating and losing it in row after row of a programmed me that could sit and behave and be produced to perform when called upon.

My grandparents gave me a very expensive, beautiful cover, that they constructed, to cover up any trace left of me.

I tried to wear it. I tried, at school, to say and do the things the other kids were doing. I tried to involve myself in the same activities and to not see the things that called to me from beyond the shadows and up on the hills and through the wind. I tried to get married, have kids, go to church, be a good Christian, volunteer at school, and bake perfect bread. I did it all. And I did a lot of it well.

Except that I always felt empty. I felt dishonest. I felt like I stood off to the side, watching the me that I was supposed to be performing like a trained circus seal. Continue reading Unpicking the Programming.

No-One Loves Me – The Lie That Holds Us Prisoners.

No-one Loves Me

I have to share this, in its entirety because I think it illuminates the pain that so many people share. It is helpful for us to self direct healing and to extend understanding and forgiveness to others.

Some people are able to move through life assuming they are always invited. They join in without ever considering whether they are “wanted.” Others cannot do that, they need to be invited. Their lives teach them that they are not included. In the interest of healing all this, it becomes about being aware of other people, of seeing them. I have heard people say, “we are not an exclusive group” everyone is welcome – and they dismiss the angst of the person sitting on the outside of the circle. Continue reading No-One Loves Me – The Lie That Holds Us Prisoners.

Parenting Adult Children

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“We all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow path and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and our youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.” Robert R. McCammon

We are all imperfect human beings, trying to do the best we can with what we have. We make mistakes. Some of those mistakes are easy for others to see, which makes people easy targets for others to shake their heads and call them stupid. Some mistakes are easily spotted by some or even most people. With my own children I often see where things are going to lead long before they hit the mud. Sometimes it is appropriate for me to caution, more often, now that they are adults, it is not. Parenting is a life time responsibility to love and support the human beings you birthed into the world.

It is also a gift. Continue reading Parenting Adult Children

Don’t Ask Me How We Got Here.

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People look at the state of the world and ask how we got to be this way, as if they have no idea where the attitudes and thought processes come from that support a world going to hell, sans the hand basket at this point.

The world reflects the attitudes and practices of US! WE are the world. There is no separation of what we practice in our daily lives and what is going on around us.

This past week is a perfect example. A tragedy hit in our neighbourhood and a very small dog , the pet of two small girls, was killed by something. The father found the bloodied remains in his yard upon returning home late one afternoon. He shared the news with the local paper where it made front page. I presume he did so for a number of responsible, community minded reasons. There have been a series of attacks by animals over the past while, some identified as dog attacks, the others unknown. The owner of the dog assumes it was a dog attack but does not say why he assumed that, and no experts were called to establish that fact, and there are no other supporting facts offered in the story. Continue reading Don’t Ask Me How We Got Here.

Today’s Food For Thought – The Art of Living Well

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“It is not the man who has to little who is poor, but the one who hankers after more.” Seneca, Letters from a Stoic

I am so appreciative for continual growth and expanding understanding. As I have aged I have come to realize how incredibly unimportant things are. I no longer care about acquiring more. I find that spiritually, I just want to reduce and simplify and focus on what is important . . . other people, the world around me, my connection to source.

The other day I was talking to my husband about winning a lottery and he shared that he would never want to win it. His reasoning was that we don’t need it, what would we do with it? It is true, we no longer have a list of things we want to buy. We focus on what we need, and that lessens and lessens.  I said that I would still love to win it, because it would be thrilling to think of all the ways I could use it to bless the lives of others. I would give it all away, to people and to programs that would bless the lives of others.  We both tried to think of things that we could buy and in the end, there really was nothing we needed, and neither of us have wants that involve material things.

I cannot tell you how incredibly freeing this feeling is and how much more meaningful life seems to me, once I was released from those chains of selfishness.   It seems that once I was off that vicious endless cycle, I was able to truly appreciate what I do have.  When I did that, I could see that I had more than enough.  I let go of listening to advertisements telling me I needed to get a newer couch, a bigger house, a fancier car.  Every day that I wake up I take time to look around me, to acknowledge how blessed my life is, to know I have more than enough, and to appreciate and care for what I do have.  I am no longer me focused.  I am not one giant appetite of need that defines what my life is about. Continue reading Today’s Food For Thought – The Art of Living Well

Be The Change

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When I was a child I remember the first world issue I really took to heart which was the starving children in Bangladesh. I remember crying myself to sleep and writing poetry because the idea that children were starving to death instead of running and playing like I was – was so hard and unfair.

It was a concept, not a reality for me. I looked at pictures, separated with a glossy coolness between the reality and my world that allowed me a disconnect despite the tears. They were “over there” and I was safely “here.”

As I have grown,  I have come to understand there are many countries where the mortality rate among children is high, due to violence and poverty. I have grown to understand that there are countries where many young people are killed due to violence and that there are countries where the young are expected to die, irrelevant consequences in ancient and financial tug of wars for religion and power, drugs and sex. Despite my tears and my concerns or even my actions on “behalf of” I am still protected by the label “third world countries” and my own privilege. Continue reading Be The Change

Reminder of What It Takes to Make a Good Relationship

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I loved this article I read today:  Little Things a Keeper Does Without Being Asked, by Christine Stockton on the Blog, Thought Catalog.

I liked this post because it is written for the beginning of relationships when things are still magical and the love hormones are coursing through our veins.  It is true of that time, but it is even more true as a marriage goes on.

I like this because it reminds us that relationships are not about what you get out of them, they are about what you put in.  If both people are focused on “putting in,” then they both are also “getting,” and you have the flow of give and take.  All life is energy.  When we are at peace, when we are healthy, we allow that flow to come to us, through us, and release it.  We receive, and take what we need and we let it go so that it can bless the lives of others and we are open for more.   Continue reading Reminder of What It Takes to Make a Good Relationship

Diagnosing Mental Disorders – The Work is Finally Done!!

DSM Celebration

It is official! The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has finally waded through the sea of human emotions and responses and identified one single state of being that is considered an acceptable, healthy response to life. After centuries of ill health where people experienced everything from sadness to happiness, experiencing depression, being moved by works of art, outraged over world events, grieved at the loss of loved ones .. . after all the happiness and love, jealousy and contempt . . . there will be sanity and order and calm. With only one emotional response human beings will finally be healthy. Of course, it should come as not surprise to any of us that the winner is “being offended.”

For years it was assumed that “love” was going to be the only emotion left standing, but over the recent years people turned their back on love to dedicate their lives to taking offense at everything they possibly could, and working tirelessly to enact laws to force people to acknowledge their discomfort. How that work just exploded into a global passion , well … is nothing short of miraculous. Continue reading Diagnosing Mental Disorders – The Work is Finally Done!!

The River Of Discontent that Flows in Us.

authentic self

Ever wonder about the people you meet who you just enjoy because they say all the right things? You have that deep connection when you talk about things beyond the weather, which celebrity did what, and what your favourite television show is. They know all the buzz words and before long, the two of you are finishing each other’s sentences, and you talk long after everyone else is out of steam.

You have several conversations with these people and you marvel to others how alike you are. It seems magical and you swear you know who they really are. Then, somewhere along the way, as you hang out, things don’t seem quite right. This person knows all the words, but what they talk about knowing and what they actually do, are miles apart. In practice they are often angry, abusing others, manipulating people and worse. They are up and down and all over the place emotionally and seldom happy. They have no real direction and nothing is ever their fault. Continue reading The River Of Discontent that Flows in Us.