Category Archives: Commentary

Rants, Political, Social Issues, Opinion

Don’t Ask Me How We Got Here.

crabby

People look at the state of the world and ask how we got to be this way, as if they have no idea where the attitudes and thought processes come from that support a world going to hell, sans the hand basket at this point.

The world reflects the attitudes and practices of US! WE are the world. There is no separation of what we practice in our daily lives and what is going on around us.

This past week is a perfect example. A tragedy hit in our neighbourhood and a very small dog , the pet of two small girls, was killed by something. The father found the bloodied remains in his yard upon returning home late one afternoon. He shared the news with the local paper where it made front page. I presume he did so for a number of responsible, community minded reasons. There have been a series of attacks by animals over the past while, some identified as dog attacks, the others unknown. The owner of the dog assumes it was a dog attack but does not say why he assumed that, and no experts were called to establish that fact, and there are no other supporting facts offered in the story. Continue reading Don’t Ask Me How We Got Here.

Today’s Food For Thought – The Art of Living Well

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“It is not the man who has to little who is poor, but the one who hankers after more.” Seneca, Letters from a Stoic

I am so appreciative for continual growth and expanding understanding. As I have aged I have come to realize how incredibly unimportant things are. I no longer care about acquiring more. I find that spiritually, I just want to reduce and simplify and focus on what is important . . . other people, the world around me, my connection to source.

The other day I was talking to my husband about winning a lottery and he shared that he would never want to win it. His reasoning was that we don’t need it, what would we do with it? It is true, we no longer have a list of things we want to buy. We focus on what we need, and that lessens and lessens.  I said that I would still love to win it, because it would be thrilling to think of all the ways I could use it to bless the lives of others. I would give it all away, to people and to programs that would bless the lives of others.  We both tried to think of things that we could buy and in the end, there really was nothing we needed, and neither of us have wants that involve material things.

I cannot tell you how incredibly freeing this feeling is and how much more meaningful life seems to me, once I was released from those chains of selfishness.   It seems that once I was off that vicious endless cycle, I was able to truly appreciate what I do have.  When I did that, I could see that I had more than enough.  I let go of listening to advertisements telling me I needed to get a newer couch, a bigger house, a fancier car.  Every day that I wake up I take time to look around me, to acknowledge how blessed my life is, to know I have more than enough, and to appreciate and care for what I do have.  I am no longer me focused.  I am not one giant appetite of need that defines what my life is about. Continue reading Today’s Food For Thought – The Art of Living Well

Be The Change

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When I was a child I remember the first world issue I really took to heart which was the starving children in Bangladesh. I remember crying myself to sleep and writing poetry because the idea that children were starving to death instead of running and playing like I was – was so hard and unfair.

It was a concept, not a reality for me. I looked at pictures, separated with a glossy coolness between the reality and my world that allowed me a disconnect despite the tears. They were “over there” and I was safely “here.”

As I have grown,  I have come to understand there are many countries where the mortality rate among children is high, due to violence and poverty. I have grown to understand that there are countries where many young people are killed due to violence and that there are countries where the young are expected to die, irrelevant consequences in ancient and financial tug of wars for religion and power, drugs and sex. Despite my tears and my concerns or even my actions on “behalf of” I am still protected by the label “third world countries” and my own privilege. Continue reading Be The Change

Diagnosing Mental Disorders – The Work is Finally Done!!

DSM Celebration

It is official! The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has finally waded through the sea of human emotions and responses and identified one single state of being that is considered an acceptable, healthy response to life. After centuries of ill health where people experienced everything from sadness to happiness, experiencing depression, being moved by works of art, outraged over world events, grieved at the loss of loved ones .. . after all the happiness and love, jealousy and contempt . . . there will be sanity and order and calm. With only one emotional response human beings will finally be healthy. Of course, it should come as not surprise to any of us that the winner is “being offended.”

For years it was assumed that “love” was going to be the only emotion left standing, but over the recent years people turned their back on love to dedicate their lives to taking offense at everything they possibly could, and working tirelessly to enact laws to force people to acknowledge their discomfort. How that work just exploded into a global passion , well … is nothing short of miraculous. Continue reading Diagnosing Mental Disorders – The Work is Finally Done!!

Grammar Police, The WORST Kind of Trolls.

grammar police

The beauty of grammar is that you get to use it. You can write everything perfectly and impress the shit out of people who care about that thing. You can enter grammar competitions and win a trophy for being the best grammar person ever. You can decorate your home in grammatically correct needlepoint and cross stitch. You can have your own website or blog where everything is grammatically perfect. You can get a job where people will pay you to fix their grammar and may even like that you do it and appreciate you for it. You can work with children who are learning grammar and help them to learn the right way to do it. But note that these will not be all children or all people, just those who actually want to learn how to do it right AND who think they can work with you because your approach is worth paying for.

But you don’t get to police the world or tell other people what they should or should not be writing. Continue reading Grammar Police, The WORST Kind of Trolls.

No Room Left in The Inn.

Forced

Some discussion and information on plans for forced sterilization:

Women Prisoners Sterilized to Cut Welfare Costs in California.

Schools Implant IUD’s in Girls as Young as Sixth Grade Without Their Parents Knowing.

Proposal to Temporarily Sterilise All NZ Teenage Females Should Raise Serious Red Flags

Bill Gates Foundation Announces Implantable Remote Controlled Contraceptive Microchip That Can Last Up To 16 Years.

Over the past few years the cries for forced sterilisation have reached a fevered pitch. People are talking population control and the need to stop third world countries from reproducing.  Of course some people are kinder than that, they insist they are empowering the women and giving them opportunities even though you seldom here about the part of that plan that follows, forced birth control or sterilisation.   Others suggest they are doing the world a favour by helping to reduce the growing population which the earth can no longer support. Whatever the reasoning, population reduction is always about “other” people, usually the poor, who should have their numbers reduced for the greater good of us all. The rest of us carry on procreating at will.

And I am not trying to control anyone.  If you have an idea that you want to put forward, then do it, but strip away the candy coating to try and make it more palatable.  Take away all the misdirection that suggests it is about some other, more noble cause.   Continue reading No Room Left in The Inn.

The Manual For a Perfect Marriage.

ever after

I could write a book about how to have a great marriage. I could take full credit for the fact I married my best friend. I could talk about it in some way that convinces others that I know and that I am an expert because, look at my success. I could do that and gather up all the focus on me and get involved in people’s lives and tell them how to do it. What would I care, really? After I get past the point where I have dozens of people in my workshops or thousands attending my speaking engagements and buying my book, I don’t even see the cause and effect anymore. I have my reward for being able to put myself out there and gain “fame.”

The truth is I lucked out. I could just of easily have ended up with a psychopath. I could have ended up with an addict or just a ho hum guy who was as bored with life as I sometimes get and so we sat through the years and bored each other to death … literally.  I say “literally” because I see so many older couples who occupy time and space together, but share nothing.  They endure to the end in that state of emptiness. Continue reading The Manual For a Perfect Marriage.

Aussies and Canucks Are Racists?

what did you say I am not a racist. I don’t alter the way that I treat someone based on their ethnicity.  Growing up on the prairies of Canada, I was not exposed to many people of other colours so perhaps that accounts for the reason I don’t see colour.   I had little experience with different ethnicities, good or bad, so when I moved away from the prairies I was open to those relationships.

It has never been my intention to offend someone based on the colour of their skin.   I have been offended by people who do cruel and unkind things, be they any colour.  And I have been treated differently, in a negative way, because of the colour of my skin or the way I look and for what I believe.

I have had complete strangers come up to touch myself or my children because of the very blonde hair, like we were an exhibit in the zoo. I have had people physically and verbally attack me because of my religious beliefs and because of my stand on things. I have been threatened in a store that I was shopping in, where I was the only white person. I have been denied service and left to the very last to be served even though I was at the front of the line. I was again, the only white person. I am sure the people who did those things based on my skin colour did so because they assumed I was racist and they were “giving back” what they felt they had been given. But I was not threatening to them, did not know them, had never done anything to offend “their people.”

When I talked about it, the advice I was given? Keep your head down, do not look at them. If I looked at them I could be considered as being “rude,” and “confronting.” But if I didn’t look at them I WAS being rude. I failed miserably . . . I can’t not see people.

I am tired of all the stupidity regarding this.

My grandfather came to Canada from Sweden. I am not Swedish Canadian. I am Canadian. I have no knowledge of what Sweden is like. I have never been there. I have seen pictures, seen it in movies. I have met relatives from there. I know some of the traditions that my grandfather continued. I have eaten some of the food – most of which I am not terribly fond of. I would never claim an allegiance to Sweden to purport to speak for them or represent them in any way. Whatever the struggles they have had as a people are not mine. I was born in Canada. I led a life of privilege with Canadian struggles that are not even representative of ALL of Canada, but that might be similar to other kids, whose religious, wealthy, grandparents raised them, on a dairy farm on the prairies of Alberta.

I have never taken it upon myself to speak for that group, of which I could be considered a part of. If someone in that group was accused of a crime, I would not feel the need to speak to it as if I had some special understanding of their guilt or innocence.   I would not think I could speak to the circumstances of anything about their lives really. “My people,” picking from all the groups you could assign me to, have good and bad people that operate in all kinds of life’s arenas. There is no huge paintbrush to colour them in one solid anything.   “My people,” are not always right.  They are not always the victims;  they are not always innocent.

I have never spoken up for any white person who has been accused of a crime just because they share my skin colour. I have not done it even when I have been aware of people who were falsely accused or killed. I have, however spoken up for people I know, situations I know, issues that are important to me …. but never based on race.

We are so hogtied with political correctness that we never seem to get to the heart of the issue of anything anymore. EVRYTHING gets swallowed up in accusations of racism or freedoms. Years ago I wrote an article where I said that individual rights have to comply also with the greater good and survival of the whole. If each of us are so busy claiming and fighting for our own individual rights, there is no other outcome except for us to all be at war with each other.  My completely self serving rights are eventually going to infringe on yours.  I may not want to stop at a traffic light because I have an important meeting to go to and so I drive on through, not caring that by so doing I could possibly take away from several other people’s rights.  Others might need to be somewhere as well.  Other people may want to live or to live free from any physical disability caused by my choice.   There is NO way for human beings to survive if we approach life that way. It is only when we each take it upon ourselves to recognize and uphold the rights of everyone else, with everyone else doing the same, that the right of the individual are protected.

What we see today is the isolation of every group and of individual trying desperately to hold on to their rights, in acts of war against one another. The police and the racial targeting is a perfect example. No officer should ever racially target anyone. If people are killed or mistreated because of their race, THAT has to stop. But we don’t stop it by completely trashing all police officers.

I am not allowed to call an African American “black” or “negro.” And yet I am constantly referred to as “white” or “caucasian,” both terms that correlate with the first two. Why is it ok for me to be referred to with those two type of terms ? Why is offensive for me to use the terms when I describe them?  African Americans call each other “nigger” but I am not allowed to use it because I am not African American. When you have a set of rules imposed against a group because of their colour – isn’t that racism? Only in this case the “white” person would be the victim. If I said that there was a term that African Americans were not allowed to use, I would be in real trouble.

Here in Australia, Aboriginals are Black. New Zealand has the famous “All Blacks.” There are other races that are considered “Black.” They are not Americans. “African American” is not an effective term. Most African Americans who reside in the USA are generations removed from anyone living in Africa. They are Americans. Isn’t that the point? Do we need to have separate terms? We don’t feel the need to identify a”white” person we are referring to by defining them as red-heads, blondes or brunettes, so do we have to refer to human beings as black, white or brown, etc??

As a Canadian I am frequently referred to as a “Canuck.” Americans are often called, “Yanks.” Australians are “Aussie’s.” We call each other that, we laugh about it, we embrace it . . . .   I always thought of it as kind of an affectionate way of referring to one another like when your family gives you a nickname. I considered it to be a good thing, a sign of friendship. Almost every country in the world has a shortened version of their name.  But if you call someone from Pakistan a “Paki,” suddenly you are being racist.  How does that work?

My point is none of the names we choose make sense to use and none of the ones we do not allow make much sense not to allow.  My point is we all come from different parts of the world with different experiences and I can’t possibly know or understand your struggles anymore than you can understand or know mine.  You can’t expect me to, and I am not going to have you make them mine. I am not going to live my life holding everyone’s else’s struggles, sensitivities and insecurities up like a light standard to forever control my life.  I am not throwing offense or racism all over the place.  If you happened to find some, then IT IS NOT MINE!.  It belongs to someone else.

Expecting everyone else in the world to think and act exactly like you do is arrogant.  I am not “African American” so I cannot understand what their life is like, but guess what?  I am not American either.  The race problems in the USA are part of their history but I am willing to bet that many of the people who preach about how they are offended that I don’t live as if “slavery” was part of my history, don’t know much about the plight of the Japanese in Canada?  Or the forced institutionalization of our First Nations people?  What do you know of the French-English struggle in Canada?  Not much?  I wouldn’t expect you to.

When land has been destroyed, has been used for garbage or perhaps a house exists where people were murdered or tortured, we most often respond by removing the house, tilling the land under and building a garden, a new house, or a memorial. We “cut out” the visual reminder and replace it with one that is healthy and beautiful, one that aids in the healing.   The twin towers in New York City are a perfect example.  Why can’t we do that with this situation instead of staying fixated on the stinking mass of garbage that has been dumped, the building that housed mad men, the instruments of torture and the bodies of the dead?

There is no healing if we are forever going to stand around and look at the wound, picking at it, never letting it heal. Move forward. We are all human beings, period. We choose to live in love and peace. Perhaps if we start from that premise, believing in our goodness instead of seeing negative intentions everywhere, we can begin to heal.

(I found this video today, a couple of weeks after I wrote this blog post.   It covers a broader scope and talks about swearing, PC talk, etc but it is pretty much the same sentiment)

 https://youtu.be/KbG8DvRKoJw

Fathers, Children Need Them. What is Wrong With Us?

How many women play games with their child’s father, long after the split up and divorce, these women are still so fixated on “getting him” that some cannot move on and have a healthy relationship with anyone else. EVERYTHING is about the partner who is no longer with them. Hating them takes up their whole life and causes them to do everything they can to poison the child against that parent.

Years after the break up they are still telling anyone who listens that all the problems their child suffers with are caused by their father. If a child is not improving a couple of years after being removed from their “horrible father,” then perhaps the problem was not the father, but the mother.

When women go out of their way to cause problems or involve themselves in their ex’s life years after the split, for the single purpose of creating drama and problems for him, someone needs to be asking some serious questions about the mental state of these women and their suitability to be responsible for raising any child.

Zero Tolerance For Bullying.

zero tolerance

Zero tolerance.

You hear a lot of the schools talking about their stance on bullying but what exactly does it mean?

When I hear that, I expect that to mean that should someone bully, they will have to leave the school. There is no excuse for it, no allowance for it to happen, and the school will protect all the students by making sure none of them are ever bullied, BUT, if it should happen, they will take responsibility, learn from it, and remove the bullying child OR insist that child get professional help that results in a change of behaviour. One incident -warning with help offered, second incident – they are gone.

It is not about zero tolerance for a child.  It is about zero tolerance for the act.  Too often we disallow important discussion on subjects because we lose sight of that subtle distinction.  We are not enacting discipline because of who did it, we are enacting it because of what was done.  Anyone who chooses that action would receive the same treatment.  It isn’t even about law or justice, it is the inherent right that every human being has to exist and participate and remain safe.  Those who choose actions that takes away from that sense must be removed.  And then, it is not up to the school to fix the offender or police their actions, it is up to the parents to get the child the help they need. Continue reading Zero Tolerance For Bullying.