If you stop and think about the thing or person you are mad at, or hurt over, or missing, you will realize that you are the one who keeps feeding the emotion. Healing is about letting go of that cycle, of minimizing our reaction to stimuli. But WE are the ones often creating the stimuli.
Our thoughts usually go over what happened, what was last said etc. We imagine scenarios where we are playing with the key characters in exactly the same way we did with our toys as children. We pick up one person and then the other. We control how they act and what is said. We make the whole scene. Unfortunately we often make it much worse than it was, or we imagine things and we respond emotionally to them as if they really happened. Why? Because our minds process the information from what actually happens in the same way it processes things we imagine. It is the science behind why phobias are so real for people.
So if you really want to get over something, stop feeding it. Stop thinking about it. Find something else to do to occupy your time and thoughts. My grandmother always said, “go and wash the floor when you are upset. It is not going to change the situation but it will give you something else to focus on and at least at the end of an hour or so you will have a clean floor, instead of a lost hour, and more upset.”
She had a point.
I always try to take care of me when I feel “injured.” I try to do something that says to me, “I love you. We are ok. ” I do something that I really like, or I might baby me a little and do something special I don’t normally do. I make time for things I have been putting off. I may cry, rant, whatever and then I look for ways to re-engage with the good things about my life, and the people I love. I may even say to people close to me, “I am fragile right now,” so they can be on team Aria until I get through it. It takes less and less time and I find that with that emotional distance, without reacting to the situation, that it is also easier to forgive myself and others.
Self examination is good but it was never meant to be a club to beat yourself with. We are meant to be happy, to understand we will stumble and fall, but we need to move past the drama of that failure and embrace life.
Let go of the negative. You will find life is so awesome when you CHOOSE to be happy.
I try to remember this. Observe, learn, grow and return home. I want a “suitcase” full of learnings and love. I want others to have my love for them in their suitcases. Love is so easy to give and makes such a difference, why would we withhold it from anyone?
If the things we learn are not teaching us to let go, to open ourselves and to love more, we are on the wrong wrong path.
And I do believe the Aboriginal people of this world understand this in their bones and that there is so much that they can teach us about spirituality. I don’t care that some of them have lost their way in their life journey, the ones who honour their traditions stand as examples to us all.
This hits home for me.
I feel strange trying to explain the creative process in me. I have never felt like it was mine, or that I owned it. It seems to come from tapping into something far greater than my little piece of understanding.
I also am at a loss to talk about “stealing ideas” etc when people get so bent out of shape because I see the influence of this world, of history, of life, of other created works in almost every creative endeavor out there. We are all influenced and all “steal” ideas if that is the word people are going to use. I prefer to think of it we all tap into that same source which is the actual source of all creative things. We are inspired and we take an idea and we make it into something that is ours, not trying to recreate what inspired us, but to use some aspect of it, some feeling … and when I think of the endless cycle of that it excites me. The idea that something I do might inspire someone else is awesome. It is part of me that gets to live on. I don’t care if I am given credit for it, or if they even realize I was their inspiration, it is just and eternal circle of creativity.
I am starting to be very vocal in my space about any prejudice I am seeing and hearing. I had not realized how prevalent it was. I think it is a sign of people becoming more fearful of their own place in life. Some people are opening up and enlarging their understanding and some are withering and closing up, hardening. I am good about most situations in allowing others their own thoughts and ideas but I will not have these words in my house, in my presence.
I have always felt that when a lie, a hate is spoken, you have to name it as a lie, refuse it a home, and replace it with truth.
The truth is we are all connected.
The truth is there are no borders between us.
The truth is love.