“There are many causes I would die for. There is not a single cause I would kill for.” Ghandi
I was in the swimming pool yesterday with my 18 year old grand daughter and she was sharing her “men” woes. I refrained from saying anything like “sing it, sister” as I think it is important for young women to hold on to illusions hope as long as possible. I dog paddled around and fluffed my water wings as I listened.
She went through all the details while I nodded sympathetically. She could not figure out, or even understand what the heck the guys in her life were thinking or doing. There just was no logic to any of it. She talked about what they were doing and what they were not doing, and tried to understand what exact games they were playing and what they actually wanted. She had a long list of behaviours and conversations that contradicted themselves all over the place and had we been having the conversation around the table at the doctors Monday briefing at some psychiatric ward it would have resulted in a whole lot of cold hydro baths, shock treatments and a new order of straight jackets being put in for the gentlemen in question. Continue reading
People struggle to say “no.” Women more so than men.
It comes from lack of self esteem. We do not consider our needs to be important enough to place them first. We have been raised with messages that have taught us that a “good” woman or a “nice” woman is self sacrificing and always thinks of the needs of others. Add to that a healthy dose of religion and the idea that we should always serve others and you have the recipe used to make most people miserably unhappy. Continue reading
“Do not fight against pain; do not fight against irritation or jealousy. Embrace them with great tenderness as though you were embracing a little baby. Your anger is yourself, and you should not be violent toward it.” Thich Nhat Hanh
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward.” Steve Marboli
I smile when people say there are two things that one should never discuss in public, politics and religion. It is not the subject matter that is the issue, it is the inability of people to talk about these things with an open mind.
It is the very reason that I examined those two subjects the most.
Why do we guard our beliefs with such fierce loyalty? If we believe them to be correct than surely they can stand up to any discussion? Surely they are worth sharing with others so that they too can find the “light.” The truth is we are afraid they won’t stand up. We are afraid we might be proven wrong and we are afraid of that because we are not as sure as we think we are. Continue reading
The wedding. Well I survived and no-one else died. I just sort of made a pact with myself that guaranteed the right of every guest safe passage to come and go without being murdered or harmed in any way. I had thought about gift baskets for the guests, but to be honest we were broke and I was not sure I would ever be allowed to attend another feminists rally if I had to glue gun or bake or bedazzle one more thing. What is more precious than the gift of life anyway?
So, as usual I ran around worrying about small final details like decorating, doing the brides hair, sewing the last of the seed pearls on the veil, doing all the bridal party bouquets, corsages, etc, making sure the caterer was good to go, changing the grand kids and grandma’s diapers, picking up last minute items, doing make-up for the bride and for my husband, glue gunning the head of the cake top bride back on her body because she had been accidentally decapitated on her way from the bakery, and general relative wrangling …. as I said .. just a few of some of the smaller details. Continue reading