You Know?

back yard

    (back yard outside the pool)

Life has been pretty busy – not just with things going on and people visiting and activities, but within me.    And yet, it is also a time when I have been sat down and forced to enjoy long days of “moments” where I am just being.  I have learned to appreciate time with good friends, good food, good wine . . . long lazy afternoons in our back yard round the pool, talking.    It is a good reminder of what is important in life – the connections we make with one another, sharing our lives and our time.

I always love these periods in my life when I know things are ramping up, changes are in the wind, and it is time to let go of things and ready myself for what is about to land in my awareness.  I marvel at how everything is lined up perfectly and it all falls into place.  People I met by such sheer chance end up being key to the whole thing, a word said by a complete stranger, a magazine picked up in a doctor’s office … and suddenly everything that has been happening for some time falls into place.

So many of those things seems unimportant, yet some were monumental.  There has been pain, and growth, loneliness and solitude, benignly numbing time wondering what the hell.

This morning, I sat down at my computer for a brief second, just to straighten my desk as we are having another big party this afternoon, and I got mail!!  The computer was not even on.  One second I was looking at some paper and deciding what to throw away and in the next the whole panacea played out in front of me and I understand.  I was so excited, I wanted to cancel the party and get started immediately.  This has been a long time coming.

Sometimes in my life things come in before the last one ends, making it easier to let go and move on but I frequently get “benched” from the game and have to wait, trusting I will be called back into the game soon.  This time was the longest.  Not that I have not been busy BUT busy without any real direction.

That is a lesson in itself.

And now I am ready, and life is ready, and the coach has whistled me off the bench and I am excited about what lies ahead.    I am so thankful for my life, for the people who are in it and for the experiences I have had.  I am so grateful for all the people who teach me so much, even those who challenge me and push me, reject me and hate me … it is so easy to talk of love and forgiveness in a vacuum life where you never challenge anything.  I am grateful I have risked so much in my life and put everything I have into everything I do.  I have no regrets.  I am living my life to the fullest of my capabilities and I appreciate every moment, ever lesson.

Stay tuned, it is going to be awesome.

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