TFFT My Kind Of Love

my kind of love

I am keeping my focus on the people that are here with me.

I am not like anyone else and comparing myself to anyone else has no other outcome except to leave me as less.  If I see others as better than me, I have stamped that idea into my psyche.  It I see myself as better than others, I am not seeing clearly.  We pick the parts of people that further our own agenda’s and insecurities.  We gather the proof we need, sometimes having to ignore blatant facts to reach our conclusions. Continue reading

QUOTE

“We can view depression not as a dysfunction or mental illness, but on a deeper level, as a profound, and very misunderstood, state of deep rest, unconsciously entered into when we are completely exhausted by the weight of our own false story of ourselves. It is a loss of interest in the second-hand – a longing to die to the false and limited ‘me’, a longing to rediscover our true vastness, to receive our birthright.”  Jeff Foster

The Gift of Giving.

you give

People give in many ways.

It is easy to recognize when someone spends a lot of money on us. We often mistake that as evidence of how loved we are or how special. We use those kinds of gift to suggest the quality of the giver that loves us or of ourselves as in “I deserve this.” We like this because it is tangible and easy to hold up against what others are given and tells us where we stand … As in “better than” or “not as good as.” “What did your boyfriend give you for Christmas? Mine gave me ….” We can be furious when someone spends a small amount of money comparative to what we spent as if the amount we spend signifies the level two people must operate on. Continue reading

QUOTE

“They’re certainly entitled to think that, and they’re entitled to full respect for their opinions… but before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”  Harper Lee ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’

Sitting At The Adult’s Table.

children's table

One of the great things about being an adult as long as I have is that no-one ever questions you anymore when you go to sit at the adult table. How I remember looking at that table and then back at the make-shift coffee table substitute where I was supposed to sit with all the little kids who had trouble finding their mouths to put the food in and then difficulty maneuvering that mouth to keep the food in.  I cursed a lot.  I did not know any curse words back then but sometimes the tone is enough to convey the emotion.

I was never a kid.

I was an adult trapped in a kid’s body. Continue reading

TFFT: Nothing Can Stop You.

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Sometimes life throws a whole bunch of events at us that require immediate, fight or flight reactions.  When the bombs stop falling and the dust settles, I am often dazed and confused . . . and a lot of that comes from the whirlwind of emotional reactions elicited from me.  I am often left feeling like a victim of those emotions, disappointed in myself for not having been able to choose a response more in keeping with who I know I am.

It is a reminder that my emotions are not yet completely intuitive. Continue reading