Sometimes, when life comes crashing down around you with a whole bunch of things you do not like and have no control over the people or situations, I stop engaging in the whole process of sorting and understanding and focus back on me.
I remind myself what it is that I want out of life, out of myself. I remind myself that these distractions are keeping me from that and if I see them as distractions and not personal attacks on me, I can step over them much more easily.
In other words I catch the thinking process that attaches itself to the events of our lives, that then thinks our emotions into place . . . emotions that take us over and start running (or not running) our lives.
We are not always capable of pulling out all the understanding . . . sometimes you have to just mentally refocus and remind yourself what the journey is all about. There are people in my life who do not get access to me anymore. I can deal with people who make mistakes and who are trying. I can deal with people who have a bad day or who lose control because of a situation. I cannot deal with people who regularly plan and carry out nastiness directed at others. We learn about that kind of behaviour in Jr. High, most of us endured it and participated in it. By the time you round your 30th year, I think you have pretty much exhausted every excuse for that kind of thing to continue.
And while I find it sad that adults engage to actively choosing to hurt one another, I always marvel at the ones who stand around and laugh with them or say nothing about it being cruel, or unnecessary, or ugly. I try to be grateful for the heads up regarding people, their character, and their intents. It allows me to disengage. Disengagement can be both painful and difficult but I always know that it is also a freeing of idea, time, and space that allows for new experiences and people. It is not about condemning anyone. They have to answer for themselves, not me.
It is simply a choice I make . . . to be happy.