I am always in need of reminding of what is important. It is so easy to get caught up in things going on in the world and our reactions to them. It is easy to get caught up in the reactions of those we love and take on their journeys as our own, worrying about the things that happen.
I find it harder because I also believe it is not enough to know for myself. I want to allow other people their own journeys, but I also want to be sure that I am speaking up on important issues, and that I never get so comfortable I do not see the suffering around me and fail to feel anything or do anything about it.
When things fall apart I go first to myself and check my own reaction and behaviour. I struggle to understand why I have reacted and to see if there is something I need to be paying more attention to within. Maybe it is unfinished work, long ago attachments … but I always first check me.
The other person is not my job. If they are important to me I will go to them and make attempts to deal with the issue. I will apologize if I need to. I will ask for an apology if I need to. I am prepared to move past the issue that has caused the suffering but not without addressing it. It has happened. It is an opportunity for us both to grow and learn, deepen our relationship and move forward.
Or it may be an opportunity for us to let go and move forward.
Letting go is not a negative.
Life has become so much simpler and kinder once I stopped needing things to be black or white, to mean something more than what they do. Once you decide to love all people it is easier to accept some of those people are in your life and some are not and it is all good.
Sounds easy to type it all out but these are things I have learned through tears and struggles and wanting to know and grow. I don’t ever mean to sound like I am on some lofty perch. I am pretty much a schmuck who tried it all, failed, and had to figure it out on my own and I hope the things I do encourage others and let them know they can find a happier place to be, that they have power they may not have considered. It is about sharing the journey in ways that bolster another’s heart.