It’s February, Do You Know Where Your Elf Is?

shelf elf

Talk about a slippery slope.

Lies tend to snowball all over themselves. I mean ok, who could have looked ahead and known that one day we would have malls and a whole lot of explaining to do. Who could have known we would be so mobile and have the ability to attend several malls in one Christmas season and that even kids with hired math tutors could add up that one “Santa” standing in front of the mall entrance, plus another Santa IN the mall , and yet another Santa in the big department store, equals too many Santa’s and a big BS on the parental story meter. Continue reading

TFFT I Stopped Apologizing For Being So Sensitive

as a woman

I do have to thank the internet for teaching me to simply block the people that irritate me, or stop following them, or mute them, or don’t read what they write.

I have a choice.

No need to engage them and start WW3.  But it also has given me the courage to ignore the attacks on me because I don’t NEED you to like or approve of me. Continue reading


“I will teach my daughter not to wear her skin like a drunken apology. I will tell her ‘make a home out of your body, live in yourself, do not let people turn you into a regret, do not justify yourself. If you are a disaster it is not forever, if you are a disaster you are the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen. Do not deconstruct from the inside out, you belong here, you belong here, not because you are lovely, but because you are more than that.’”   Azra.T 

TFFT Making Peace With Suffering.


I am always in need of reminding of what is important.  It is so easy to get caught up in things going on in the world and our reactions to them.  It is easy to get caught up in the reactions of those we love and take on their journeys as our own, worrying about the things that happen.

I find it harder because I also believe it is not enough to know for myself.  I want to allow other people their own journeys, but I also want to be sure that I am speaking up on important issues, and that I never get so comfortable I do not see the suffering around me and fail to feel anything or do anything about it. Continue reading


“I only feel close to people who arouse my energy, who make enormous demands of me, who are capable of enriching me with experience, pain, people who do not doubt my courage, or my toughness. People who do not believe me naive or innocent, but who challenge my keenest wisdom, who have the courage to treat me like a woman in spite of the fact that they are aware of my vulnerability.”  Anaïs Nin

Letter to My Grandson with Asperger’s.



My Dearest Noah;

I hope you know how much you are loved and that your pockets are full to overflowing with that love.  I hope it is love that helps you to shape the shield that you will need to do battle with life.

You have made us smile from the moment you were born with your bright blue eyes, and your red hair.  Your thoughtful evaluation of things before you speak and your drawl is a delight to all of us.  We have enjoyed your prowess in the swimming pool, your willingness to try new things and to be part of what the other kids are doing, just enjoying being “in the game,” without every getting caught up or lost in whether you are winning, or are the best.  How I wish I had been more open, like you are, to experiencing things, and less burdened with the notion of what others thought. Continue reading


“There’s two things people do with the shit of life. The first person puts it in their bag, in their pockets, up their shirt, down their trousers. They carry it around with them! ‘Why me? It’s unfair, it’s terrible, it’s not nice!’ That’s called ‘carrying the shit.’ Now you find if you carry shit around you lose a lot of friends…But there’s the other thing you can do with the cow shit of life….You dig it into your garden! So instead of just complaining about it, you make use of it…It takes a long time sometimes when you’re in the middle of this. You can’t just get rid of it in an instant. It takes weeks, sometimes years. You keep digging in a little bit every day. But it always happens that that moment occurs when you look in front of your door and that whole pile of shit is gone. It’s vanished. It hasn’t gone nowhere. Something’s happened in the back garden…These beautiful flowers so fragrant that people walking down the street can smell it and they like to visit to see your amazing garden. And your fruit trees – the apples in there are so delicious and sweet. So much so you give them to all your friends…Your garden which you grow from the shit of your life is not just for you. It’s for everybody who even comes close to you.”  Ajahn Brahm

TFFT Always the Optimist.

will always be


If you knew my life story, you would probably ask me how I manage to get out of bed each day.  I am not sure you would even believe my story, but “the story,” is NOT the story.  Those are things that happened to me.

The story is that everything that happened only served to break me open and make me so appreciate of love.  It allowed me to see beauty where others do not, to see hope where others may not look.  I am grateful for my life.  I really am, even when I sometimes have to administer first aid to my scabs that life can sometimes pick at. Continue reading