We don’t know the purpose of people in our lives. Sadly, it is often down the path, far away from them, that we finally get that what they did for us was a gift. Even more sad is that it is often too late to then say anything.
I have come to understand that life is precious because it is limited, it is short – no-one gets out alive. Nothing we do here, no matter how important and awesome anything else may seem, is as important as is our ability to connect with others. To love and be loved. There is no such thing as too much love. Anyone in your life who seeks to limit your access to people who love you, is not someone you need in your life.
How blessed we are by those who love us . . . those who see us . . . those who keep us in their thoughts each day. We fool ourselves into thinking that people who say and do what we want to hear, to enable us to continue our destructive ways, who clap at all the right places . . . are the people worth everything in our lives. We put away those who say the difficult things, who expect more of us, who are willing to take our anger and to be considered awful, rather than do the wrong thing or lie to us.
As I have grown older I have thought a great deal about people I may have offended, or people I left with a gross misunderstanding between us for whatever reason and I have sought to put those things right. I have also thought about those who blessed my life in ways I did not understand at the time and have made an effort to contact them and let them know and to thank them. Most of all I have learned a painful lesson of allowing people to love me. That is hardest for me. While it is easy to love others, allowing them to love me is uncomfortable, because as a child I had not concept of what that meant – to be loved. I accepted life in a void where love was a spiritual concept offered to me by the earth, by spirit, by the inner quality of my world where all was safe. It did not come from people. At best I could hope to be not seen or noticed. At worst people offered profound pain. Accepting that others need to love me as I need to love them has been a journey and I thank my first husband for healing so much of that wound, and for my children. My current husband has shown me how to reach beyond even what I thought possible.
I want to allow the people I love to slip over to the other side with peace. I don’t want to hold them here as part of my pain for the things I did not get to say. I want to be able to let go with love and peace. So I make the time to say things often.
I am not a big blog, but I so appreciate those of you who read, who share my journey even for a brief moment each day. We may not know one another but I feel you and on some level I hope that the words I type bring reflection, comfort and healing. Thank you for your witness to my heart.