Don’t Blame the Kidnappers.

happy easter brother

I got a lovely card from my brother for Easter.

He was all like,  “… hey, this is what we have been doing for the past 20 years,”  and then all, “hey, this is what is new with some of the rest of the family,”  and then, ” hey, some of the people we went to school with are doing these things.” He threw in some bunnies and eggs and little yellow chicks… but mostly I could read between the lines and know that he was really wanting to know if I had his stupid teddy bear, was that actually it on my Facebook page, and he remembered it differently than that … it looks kind of worn and small but still … could he have it back now?

When you grow up on the prairies, isolated from style and non bovine contact … you tend to develop a special language with your siblings.  Some kids made up cute words, some kids just develop incredible mind powers because there is nothing else to do.  I did start out reading the cows’ minds but they are like a gateway drug and I couldn’t help myself … I was soon reading my brother’s mind   so ya, I knew what he was really saying in the unsaid portion of the card.  

Besides, there were tear stains on the card.

I did write back. I was all like, ” … hey, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 20 years,” and, “hey ya  that was your teddy bear on my Facebook page,” and, “hey it has had a really tough life and you are still a whiney baby,”  which is exactly why I will not add him as friend on Facebook so he should stop asking me and no, he could not have the bear back.    I reminded him the ransom was still the same … 1 million dollars … and now with 20 years interest.

I have to check my privacy settings on Facebook.  I am pretty sure I blocked him.

Before you tell me how mean I am, think long and hard about it because kidnappers don’t just come out of nowhere you know.  Everyone hates on the kidnappers but ask yourself where kidnappers come from?  How does someone end up being a kidnapper?  I will tell you how.  They are pushed to the edge.  They are thrown off say a barn ledge and when they are hanging on with only their bloodied fingernails having already peed their pants, someone stomps on their fingers and laughs at them.  These poor people turn to kidnapping for reasons you have no idea about.

But I did comment that his drawing and colouring had really improved, even though when I first looked at the picture I thought he had a bunch of suns that had fallen out of the sky.  It took me awhile to realize they were chicks. AND he actually spelled “Hallmark” correctly when he wrote it on the back, and I was proud of him for that . . . although I am concerned that this might be the first stage in a new career in forgery and counterfeiting and so I had to report him to the FBI and the RCMP.

I believe in giving credit where it is due. It was Easter after all.  AND I am a responsible sister.  Hence I could both compliment him AND hand him over to the police.

And then I made him a card.

I drew him a cute little bunny . . .  gnawing on a teddy bear.

One thought on “Don’t Blame the Kidnappers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s