It has always struck me as such a contradiction that we send people to classes on self-esteem and to have confidence, but the moment someone is comfortable in their own skin, or able to promote their abilities, we are ready to get the tar and feathers.
The journey for me, to know myself, has been filled with truths. I am probably more brutally honest with myself, more critical, more willing to say the unsaid, than any of my enemies can dream of. When I can stand up and raise my hand and volunteer that I can indeed do something, it comes from a painful journey of self awareness. To get there, I am also aware of the many things I cannot do well or maybe not at all. Am I expected to raise my hand to announce – I cannot do that, I suck at it … completely?
My conversation with you is never going to include those admissions, because others may see them as failings or even weapons to be used against me. I see them simply as fact. I celebrate what I can do. I enjoy my successes. I let go of the things that are not my talents, or am content to just putter with them quietly, without any audience. I learn to deeply appreciate the differences between us . . . those who can do the things I cannot. I may take opportunities to even learn from some of these people.
It is a sharing experience of give and take … just like my own relationships with myself is. I love me, in spite of my failings and inadequacies. I am ok with not being perfect. I am terrific and flawed. I am successful and a complete failure. I am dark and I am light. Accepting that has allowed me to be happy with me and in doing that, I am more appreciative of the world around me.
Children see life with such wide open arms …. they are always willing to do, to try, to believe they are capable of even flying. Life teaches us soon enough where our limits lie but the difference is that when a child cannot hit the ball as well as the other children on the baseball field, they seldom give up. They play anyway . . . at least until the other children force them out of playing because winning becomes more important in defining who they are then just the experience of having fun. Children will look for something else. Adults often won’t even try. If they do and they are no good, they quit, long before anyone refuses to pick them for their team and too often, they simply refuse to try something else.
Take the time to watch children play. Reawaken that part of you that once believed you could fly and get to know the fearless you that really understands your capabilities. Accepting limits is only directional – as it knowing that “baseball” may not be your forte allows you to move on to the next thing, and the next, until you discover your own success and can enjoy it.
Don’t be afraid of yourself. Embrace it all. It all fits together perfectly.