It is hard to haul yourself out of bed and plaster a smile on your face and take a crappy situation and turn it around. It is hard to do that walk past the very people who have made your life miserable and choose not to engage, but instead to keep focused on what you came there to do. Happiness thieves are all around us, trying to bully others into a dark world of misery and drama and fighting. Some do it with sins of commission while others choose omission as their weapon of choice.
Choosing happiness can be a very courageous act. It is a declaration of your refusal to surrender control of your life to any person or situation.
Just the act of feeling like you have a choice can be powerful and affirming.
I usually see it as a channeling of energy. I refuse to allow someone else that kind of power to impact my attention or direction. I stop focusing on them and get real serious about focusing on me. I have learned to master that enough that I am usually way down the road towards something else while people are still rolling around in the drama and thinking everything I do is directed at them in a negative way.
I have my conversations with people. I give them every chance before I even see the option of walking away. I listen to what they have to say, I watch if their actions match their words, I check myself, I look for healing. But I do have a line I am not prepared to cross, and that is the line where the situation starts to erode me. I am not willing to be destroyed for the sake of anything or anyone.
My husband taught me how to do this. If I had a problem we would talk about it and he would immediately address the issue. He would talk about what he could fix or do differently and I learned that he meant it. He would and he did. What was funny was he would do it so immediately I would still be talking about how I felt and the situation and being upset and he would laugh and say something like the situation was fixed, did I still need to keep on about it for awhile because he could give me some alone time to do that. It was pretty obvious how ridiculous I was being. Who was I arguing with or trying to convince? I have made a conscious effort to deal with things and then let them go. Some situations are easier than others.
Perhaps it is because there has been so much loss in my life that I have learned to be able to let go of people. I certainly have learned that no matter how much it hurts to lose someone you love, when that person has become toxic, I am better off without them, and I will eventually truly understand that and be happier. I try to take the focus off the loss and put it back on choosing happiness for me. I vote for me, first and always because really, that is the only vote I get.