Growing up we were that the good guys always win, and with that came an expectation that life would be fair. In fact, perhaps it made it easier to opt out of paying attention because clearly, this was just how it was. Good guys and bad guys were easily identifiable. Monsters were in scary places and mainly fairy tales that most of us left far behind us as we headed into adulthood full of idealism and dreams.
But monsters do exist outside of fairy tales and they are not always identifiable and sometimes they even show up in our lives as the fairy princess or the guy in the white hat. And, assuming that someone else was keeping life fair was the worst mistake we ever made.
Monsters do exist and they may live with us, work with us, even be our lovers. And because they do we are all responsible to see that good wins. It is our job.
Sometimes the reality undoes us. We can feel defeated and used by others but there is another way of looking at it. The universe has just revealed to you a truth that can empower you. Rather than be caught up in years of interaction with people who are poison, who are willing to use your kindness and abuse it, you can see them for what they are and disentangle yourself and move on to healthier relationships.
I have turned the hurt and anger into gratitude that I can now see them for what they are and when things get bad, people really do reveal the worst or the best of themselves. Their choice is their core intent towards life.
Information is power.
That is when we have to dig deep and not give into the natural tendencies to retaliate. We have to fight against becoming hardened and bitter and tainting all our own future relationships and interactions with that hurt. We find the goodness within ourselves and draw on it to make choices that honour who we are and what our lives are about. We reaffirm who we are.
Sometimes that leads us to forgiveness and that healing marks a real change in the offender’s life, but just as often, it doesn’t do anything except free us.
There are no prizes for saving other people, there is only the accountability for ourselves. What have we learned about life? How much have we loved and connected with others?
We give monsters their power by allowing who they are and what they do to occupy a presence in our life. We create the darkened woods where they continue to live and haunt us. We can just as easily set them free and lift their heads to the sun.
Life is always a choice.