One of the greatest disservices we do to one another as women is that we teach our daughters “to be nice.”
It is not that “be nice” is a bad message. It goes with “be polite,” “be respectful,” etc. The problem happens when we teach our daughters to be nice with the fervour of Moonies at the “weekend retreat” from which no-one ever returns.
The problem is that little girls learn a whole set of rules that are as restrictive and perhaps more damaging that any burqa or religious indoctrination. “Being nice” can end up teaching little girls to deny themselves, to ignore their own needs . . . to feel achievement and satisfaction in putting by always putting others first. Continue reading