One of the greatest disservices we do to one another as women is that we teach our daughters “to be nice.”
It is not that “be nice” is a bad message. It goes with “be polite,” “be respectful,” etc. The problem happens when we teach our daughters to be nice with the fervour of Moonies at the “weekend retreat” from which no-one ever returns.
The problem is that little girls learn a whole set of rules that are as restrictive and perhaps more damaging that any burqa or religious indoctrination. “Being nice” can end up teaching little girls to deny themselves, to ignore their own needs . . . to feel achievement and satisfaction in putting by always putting others first. Continue reading
Poor Pinda, she had no idea that some pinning is considered a sin, worthy of excommunication from the Church of Pinterest.
I have a suggestion for all the people on Pinterest who are so freaking panicked about other people pinning “their” pins. Clearly they are beyond distressed about how many pins other peoples repin and so they post all kind of posters warning those people they will be blocked (as in not able to look at or take their pins anymore). I tried to talk to a couple of them off the ledge and explain the pictures they collect are not really “theirs” (in most instances). They did not make the item, nor do they own what is shown in the picture. Continue reading
How sad that as we age we are expected to take life seriously. I have never understood why people assume because you are laughing and having a good time, or even dancing on your desk , that you are not being responsible.
I tried the “sit down and act like a grown up” and it was uncomfortable, restrictive , and boring.
I am not a one dimensional robot. Continue reading
“If I have harmed anyone, in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through my own confusions, I ask forgiveness.
If anyone has harmed me, in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through their own confusions, I forgive them.
And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that.
For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions, I forgive myself.” Buddhist Prayer
Dear Gen Y;
Life is hard. You had some bumps along the road. Unfortunately, part of the pain that can come from our childhood is because we were often powerless to do anything about the things that happened. Life was what our parents made, or didn’t make, of it. We were just along for the ride. Children have to rely on the goodness of others, even strangers sometimes, to protect them. More often than not, those people either lacked goodness or simply did not see what was going on. Continue reading
“I’ve never spoken to another person in my life. I speak to consciousness itself, cleverly disguised as an ‘other’. And so, ‘I’ don’t really speak to ‘you’ at all, although that’s a beautiful story to tell. For underneath all the words, underneath all the sounds, the complex stories, the agreements and disagreements, the shared history, the hopes of a tomorrow, there is a love here with no name, a silence which cannot be disturbed, a timeless intimacy in its infancy that is ever-present and fresh, a deep rest that endures even after the passing of the impermanent body. Love is stronger than death. May we always meet in this deathless space we call Now.” Jeff Foster
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” Meryl Streep
Hurrah for Emma Watson and her moving speech at the UN for gender equality as she helped launch the new campaign HeForShe ! I could not agree more when she stated:
” . . . I have realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.”
As I have stated many times, women have to stop abusing the rights they have been given. WE should understand more than anyone what it felt like to be on the short end of the stick when it came to rights, and yet everyday I come across women who are high fiving one another over how they managed to wrought the system and stick it to the men in their lives. In other words, they are abusing the very system that other women fought to make sure they had, to protect their rights and give them options. Continue reading