Healing Love. Real Love.


Love is a weapon we use against one another.

We do it because we do not understand the word.

Love is not a proclamation of our worth, bestowed upon us if we are pretty enough, or good enough, or only when we are chosen by another.

Neither is love a passive stance of ignoring our responsibilities and not getting involved.  We can’t opt out of life, refusing to be part of the discussion and effort to see and correct what is wrong and think that kind of love helps anyone.  Try loving passively while you have to actually sit and watch a child starve to death or a woman be raped by a gang of men because she has no value.

Love is not about getting together for coffee once in a while or waving at each other on the street.  It is not knowing your name from church.

Love is not about someone else being responsible for our happiness.  Love doesn’t have blame, it only shares responsibility.  Love does not disintegrate into hate that seeks to destroy others.  It distinguishes between the act and the person.  Love survives even in the greatest tragedy, not with some feeble misplaced belief that it can undo what has been done, but that it can go on, and it can pick up pieces and find some meaning or sense.  Love heals.

Love is not the excuse we wrap ourselves in claiming the right to hurt and destroy in the name of taking care of ourselves.  We don’t put self-love at the expense of others.

Love exists everywhere and we are loved.  We can’t know that unless we are awakened  to ourselves.  Knowing ourselves is impossible without us connecting to our higher power/intelligence/understanding.  It doesn’t matter how we define that, it is an intelligence that exists beyond us that is available to us and we find when we spend time knowing ourselves.

Once we find that for ourselves, we find connections with others.  But those connections are not in meaningless, superficial ways like having 5000 friends on Facebook or belonging to a huge church.  Once we start connecting with others we are compelled to act in such a way that “cares” for one another.  It is not the same as parent-child.  There is no stewardship over the other.  There is only wanting to share a journey and do everything you can to help that person achieve their potential.  We support who they are and how they want to do it.

We see others struggle and we do what we can to help because no-one stands in the corner and “loves” everyone when a bomb has exploded and people are screaming in pain and begging for help.  No-one.

Our world has “bombs” exploding everywhere.

In all my life, there has only been one lesson.  Love.  I have learned first hand what it is and what it isn’t.  Every experience has invited me to love more, or love less.  Every choice to love more has moved me forward and every choice to love less has halted my progress.  The benefits or unhappiness were mine to bear the impact.

In my youth, my awareness was pretty much, narcissistically on myself.  Now I am more aware of others and how I impact their understanding of love.  Because I look to see, I see pain and suffering, even in those with beautiful clothes, every advantage, and happy smiles.  There is always something I can do.

I see the pain we inflict on one another because we seem unable to love ourselves enough to be calm with our own mistakes and dysfunction.  We seem so intent on avoiding responsibility for ourselves and so we justify our lives by blaming others.  We blame our emotions on others.  It is easier to hate someone else than to embrace that we are not perfect.

We fear being imperfect because imperfection results in a withdrawal of love.  That is the love the world teaches us.

Healing is about healing our own hearts first and foremost.  In that space, where I am alone, the mirror is in front of me reflecting me.    I am looking at “information” without any value of good or bad placed on it, I begin to feel it.  Love is not something that is given or taken.  It is not something I earn.  Love is who I am.  It is who you are.  It is what this world is built upon.  It is the glue between us, the air around us.  It just is.  The fear of losing love abates and I am calm.

And then I can interact with the world and survive the cruelties and unkindnesses because my whole being understands I am me and my journey is with love.  I see who others are and what they do is their journey.  Some I can impact on, some will impact on me, and some I will journey with for a short period of time.  But I will never use love as an excuse, or a weapon.

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