I liked this post because it is written for the beginning of relationships when things are still magical and the love hormones are coursing through our veins. It is true of that time, but it is even more true as a marriage goes on.
I like this because it reminds us that relationships are not about what you get out of them, they are about what you put in. If both people are focused on “putting in,” then they both are also “getting,” and you have the flow of give and take. All life is energy. When we are at peace, when we are healthy, we allow that flow to come to us, through us, and release it. We receive, and take what we need and we let it go so that it can bless the lives of others and we are open for more.
This list is not complete, they are examples of the type of behaviour. To consider the needs of another and to step up to provide what they may want, whether physical or emotional assistance, is selfless. To consider their interest and realize that their friends and family might be very different than your, but to honour and respect them and welcome them into your life out of respect for your partner, is essential.
To consider that the important part of sorting things out is not to point at the other person, or identify all they have done wrong, but to look within yourself and see what you have done wrong and consider how you can fix it. To listen to what the other has to say about their own struggle and to find ways to help them through with your own actions and behaviours is preferable to laying blame, always. It allows for both of you to grow and heal. Blaming and not taking responsibility for your own actions only causes more damage and pain and it halts the flow of life energy. No-one gets what they need, especially not the person who only sees what the other person has done wrong to make them miserable.
Intimacy, constant expressions of love – both in words and actions, we all need these. We cannot complain that we feel unloved without checking whether our partner can find any evidence of being loved in our own actions.
I like it because it reminds us that we come together for mutual happiness and if that does not occur, or is no longer there, and all attempts to fix it have failed, we sometimes need to let go. A failed relationship is an easier sacrifice than two failed people who live out their lives in misery, ineffective in so many other ways because they are stuck. Two happy successful people are worth much more than a fake 50 year marriage celebration because it looks good in a Facebook photo album for all those people who might see it someday – people we have never seen since grade school but for some reason it still matters that we impress them.
I like this article because it reminds me to go over each of those things and to make sure that I am still tuned in, still reaching out, still doing my part to take care of my husband and my marriage.