The Etiquette of Public Hugging by a Survivor.

Hugorama

Don’t you think that “huggers” should adhere to some kind of hugger etiquette or that they should, at least, be policed in some form?

I find it awkward to stand around in a large group when a new person is introduced who happens to be a “hugger.”  You know exactly what I am talking about.  They show up, know no-one and presume it is alright to greet everyone with a hug.  First of all how do they know there aren’t committed huggers in the group who don’t adhere to open hugging?  How do they know anyone is open to hugging and that they are not some tour group out for the day from the institution where they are all being treated for a high startle response to human contact?  I mean someone could end up dead here.

And when you are the new person and clearly everyone hugs, how does it go?   Do you hug the ones you know best first? The host? Family? The people you like most? And what about skipping over someone and coming back to them? Like what is all that about? And how does one address a hugger who has clearly passed you over and comes back to you like they purposely left you for last?  Does it mean something bad or something good that you might actually consider bad, but they think it is a good?  And if you refuse the hug will you end up offending everyone . . . or again, dead?

Is neck nuzzling allowed in social hugs? A kiss on the cheek? French kissing? Like where do you draw the freaking line??

How much struggling is one allowed to do in an unwanted hug before it becomes a fist fight? Should one, instead, make every attempt to push away from the outstretched arms  or are you supposed to surrender at some point to save embarrassment and again … perhaps a life?   If the person falls, in the struggle … who should help them up? The most hugged, the first hugged, the unhugged, or the hugger?

Is it permissible to wear a sign that says “no hugging zone,” and what is the penalty for hugging the don’t-wanna-be-huggies?  Like can you carry a concealed weapon and when can you use it to protect yourself from a hug?

Frankly I think people who hug are a tad thick.  I mean if you can’t figure out that the person running from you in the parking lot screaming “NO NO, just stay away from me” does NOT want to be hugged … I mean come on.   “No” means “No.” And after the first 3 blocks …. seriously .. just stop!

I say, when you can’t get your people fix, you huggers out there, find a tree.  They may have bark but they don’t bite and I am warning you, I will, if you try to hug me one more time.  . . . . or worse than a bite … like as in dead . . .

I am a Canadian.  We consider hugging to be foreplay.

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