“One thing I have learned with certainty is not to stand in connection with those who diminish me. This is particularly difficult when family is involved, because we have a vested interest in perpetuating the family system for all kinds of different reasons. I don’t believe one should endure abuse no matter how attached they are to an idea of family. There are many families (read: soulpod) waiting for us just outside our habitual awareness. We are not responsible for those who diminish us. We really have to get that. We can be compassionate and we can certainly understand where their abusiveness comes from, but understanding the origins does not mean we have to endure it. It’s not our cross to bear.”Jeff Brown
We live our lives and reach out to those around us that we feel a connection with. Sometimes that connection comes from a sense of duty, sometimes it is from a shared activity, sometimes we are moved by compassion. There are times when we share interests with people or just connect on a number of levels and enjoy their company. In addition to all of those, we often make extended efforts with members of our own family because the loss of family can seem so alien to everything we know and have been taught. Families are supposed to be forever. They are the ones that are always supposed to have your backs. Continue reading →
I saw this poster a couple of weeks ago. It is one of many that we see, often around the holidays. Many people read it and feel a sense of outrage at the inn keeper. Most of those same people identify themselves as someone who would have found room at their inn for a man and his heavily pregnant wife, had they been in his shoes those many years ago.
It is the same with the death of Christ and the persecution he and his followers suffered. People insist they would have followed him, they would have stood up and been counted. It is easy to talk about what we would have done, after the fact and all the outcomes are known. It is never quite as easy to make that same decision when the actual opportunity occupies the same moment as we do. Continue reading →
“Whatever your difficulties—a devastated heart, financial loss, feeling assaulted by the conflicts around you, or a seemingly hopeless illness—you can always remember that you are free in every moment to set the compass of your heart to your highest intentions. In fact, the two things that you are always free to do—despite your circumstances—are to be present and to be willing to love.” Jack Kornfield
Gather around Chick and Stud-lets, have I got a Christmas load for you! And just in time for the big day. Is it just me or have we all spent far too may days to count, wandering the grounds of those gated homes, avoiding the guard dogs and the worrisome big guy with the gun, our little noses pressed up against the window, staring in at a lifestyle that we can only dream of? Isn’t it always worse at Christmas time?
I bet you have often thought, in despair, I can never ever have a Christmas like that, why the hell couldn’t mommy and daddy have just waited until after the rich people had sex so that I had a chance to be born to a much better life. And how many of us never bought mommy or daddy another Christmas gift, and then had to go to lots of therapy with meds that just distracted you with a bunch of imaginary friends, one of them a clown who kept trying to get you to do bad things.
Put the pill bottle down. I can make your dream Christmas come true. Look what I have found and am willing to share with you. Continue reading →