How I wish that I could explain to those I love, how wrong the world is. I wish I could go back and erase all the messages that I passed on, some intentional, but so many more that I just inadvertently taught out of my own weaknesses and fears. I wish I could redo it, putting more emphasis on embracing it all and releasing them from any sense of shame for simply being a human being.
The world tries to write our stories with its labels and limiting beliefs. We are too weak, we are not enough, we failed, we can’t, we shouldn’t. There is nothing that happens to us that we need to fear. We can face it. We can overcome it. We can heal.
But first, we have to allow life. We have to accept it with all its raw reality. Life is meant to be experienced and that means we allow ourselves to feel it and learn the lessons that it has to teach us. We have to allow ourselves to acknowledge the truth of every moment. Maybe we are in pain. Maybe we did not choose the best path. Maybe we are wrong. Maybe we lost. Maybe we failed. Feel it. Own it. Listen to the truth it speaks to us about where we are at, what we can work on, what our choices are now and what we can change. We do not look at a car that won’t start and say, “forget it” and throw it away. We don’t immediately assume the whole vehicle is useless. We try something else. We go over what we did and what we can do differently. We might buy new parts or use different tools. We might ask for help.
If an inanimate object can garner that many chances, how can we give up on ourselves?
New Age likes to suggest that we deal with life by just thinking happiness into place. Religions suggest that we just accept the religious teachings and the reality of our situation will suddenly just disappear and we will be happy. Life is very different.
There is no weakness in feeling and experiencing our lives. What is the point of our being here if it is not to experience the physical realities of this world? Does someone expect to climb Mount Everest by simply desiring to do it, showing up one day, and casually strolling to the top of its’ peaks? No, he trains, he struggles, he pushes his body to gain strength, he sacrifices time and energy to prepare and to raise the money to be able to go. He plans for years. When he finally climbs he pushes himself to deaths door and sees the very real evidence of the possible cost of his effort, via the corpses of those who tried and failed who lie along the path to the top. And it is the feeling of every aspect of all it takes to get him to that mountain top that makes the experience life changing and perhaps the pinnacle of his whole life’s experience. WHY would we deny ourselves that in our daily lives?
Feel the pain. Experience the moment. You can live your life on the perimeter. You can sit in the car and watch others parachuting from planes and diving deep into the sea, or you can get out of the car and join them. You will get exactly the life you live but I promise you, denying yourself experiences and opportunities to grow and learn because it might cause you discomfort, will be the most self-limiting choice you can make. Women straddle death to bring life into the world and yet I have never met a woman who has said they would trade in that experience for anything. I do not believe it would mean the same if we simply waited in a room for someone to come and place a baby in our arms. It means something because of the pain and all the emotions we go through to deliver that baby. We learn something about ourselves. We forge a connection with that new life that is one of the strongest known to man.
Life is an invitation to participate. It is an experience, not a show.
Feel it all. Be weak. Be broken. Be wrong. Grow. Change. Move on. Close doors. Open new ones. Believe. Do the impossible.
Begin by honouring your own heart. Allow your feelings time and space. Live with them. Learn from them. Trust them before you trust even the wisest man. This is your life and you have all the tools you need to navigate it and to have an epic life, one that is exactly what you need and one that will bring you peace and happiness. Your feelings are everything.
Sharing them with one another is a powerful tool. It can heal. It can bridge the unbridgeable. The world suggests we are weak to have emotions and weaker still to give in to them. It is all part of the lie intended to convince us that we have no choice. There is always power in knowledge and the power of knowing yourself, is beyond measure.