Boobie Confusion.

bra boob

I got fired the one and only time in my life because I did not wear a bra. I was hired to work in a nursing home and after three nanoseconds, I was called into the office.

I was going to hell AND I was fired.

I could have fought it. I had a blouse on with a pullover baggy sweater on top. Even with my bra, given the freezing temperature that they kept the nursing home in, presumably to keep the corpses for a few days until the morgue could make their rounds, my nipples would have been detectable. Well, I mean IF someone had stared at them for a long long time, crossed their eyes a little and mistook some pilling for a bump. Seriously, my nipples and my breasts were pretty much non-events at the time.

Also nowhere in the information package did it state that someone would be inspecting my underwear or that I was required to provide my own. For all I know I wasn’t wearing any underpants that day either.

I had other priorities in my youth.

Later, I got a job as a secretary/gopher because I didn’t wear a bra. My breasts were a little more interesting and evidently evidence of my ability to type and fetch coffee. I was wearing underpants that day, for those of you who are planning on penning my life story once I am done here.

It is these kinds of mixed messages that make us completely messed up grown-ups who have not got a clue what we are doing. And then God hands us babies. I just think someone needs to point out that I am still confused on the whole bra burning thing.

Was it a good thing?

Did we win?

When do we get our prizes?

Does anyone else know that we won?

What the hell … I am sitting here holding my boobs with no idea what I am supposed to do with them.  Can someone just tell me … are my boobies free or not???

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