Cinnamon buns are a food group.
Evidently the food group monitor died about 30 years ago and no-one noticed and so I coloured and bedazzled myself a nifty name tag proclaiming me the “Food Group Monitor of the World” and I felt it was time to discover a new group. Cinnamon buns … part of a healthy diet. Well not a “diet diet” like a “losing weight diet,” but a diet as in “you eat it so it is part of your diet.” Feel free to direct any questions to me.
I made some a couple weekends ago and everyone was eating them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They were telling me they were eating a balanced diet because they had one in each hand and a lot of the time they would drink milk with them. Some people were drinking coffee and well, they are going to die toothless, with weak bones and bags under their eyes because of their lack of sleep so you can’t blame that one on the cinnamon bun. At least they will be awake when they die which means they have a better chance of passing the “get into heaven test” . . . and that will just be one more blessing of my cinnamon buns.
Everyone went crazy over my buns. One of my friends said it was like they were coated with heroin or something, she just could not stop eating them.
It is really true, what they say about inspiration. It can come from anywhere, at any time.
I sat down with it and had a cinnamon bun and a glass of milk (because I care that inspiration look good with strong bones and and all her natural teeth).
And then I went out and bought some heroin.
First I coated the vegetables with it. The kids ate them. Then I thought . . . “What about Liver?” The kids ate that too! Even stuff wayyy past the “used by date” and things out of the fridge that I had no idea what they even were . . . eaten. I saved enough money to buy myself a black Givenchy Antigona tote. I tried the heroin out this weekend on our guests. I coated everything and they ate it all . . . even the marshmallow, liver, anchovy, peanut butter balls. Yumm-o.
It is absolutely amaze balls how easy it is to maintain a balanced diet when you just add the right condiment to compliment it all. Now we eat cinnamon buns, vegetables, liver, anchovies, peanut butter, marshmallows, road kill, fiber, old dairy stuff, berries and twigs, mystery fridge stuff and puppy chow every week. And everyone is happy about it.
And you know what? Since I have been adding heroin to everything, I find people are way more entertaining and interesting too. People are more open to trying new things and they are more active. Just the other day, Grandma tried to climb the wall with a herd of geckos. She almost made it to the ceiling with them before her walker crashed to the floor.