Anyone Remember the Real Victims?

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This is not particularly against Bill Clinton. It is not a political statement. It is just he is the latest in a long line of rapists who make the same assertion.

They don’t want anyone discussing their past criminal activities, “it isn’t fair.”

People think that IF a person is caught, (which, btw, is the only thing that stops them, at least temporarily, because none of them voluntarily stop, and most of them resume their activities as soon as possible) and IF they are prosecuted, and IF they are found guilty, and IF they do jail time . . . that once that time is over that is all there is to it, the whole thing can just go away.

They feel it is completely unfair to make them forever have to live with their mistake. The further the distance between the time of their incident and when someone brings it up, the more unfair it is. Because the passage of time, after all, fixes everything. Doesn’t it??

The people usually crying out the loudest, in defence of the perpetrators, are the families. Usually because the stain of people knowing that Uncle Jim was a rapist or a paedophile, or that Mom abused a young man that she taught in school, impacts them as well. Gosh knows that is painful and so unfair.

People forget that the perpetrator made a knowing choice. Regardless of their horrific childhood, or the crowd they hang with, their comes a point where we have to say a person’s life comes down to the choices they make long after their own abuse has ended and the choice to harm another life is a choice that IS made. It is not like these people come from Canada to Australia and have to learn that “root” – a perfectly acceptable word for polite society in Canada, means something completely different and unacceptable here. This is not THAT kind of “not knowing” where someone makes a choice without knowing the consequences. This is a known, heavily messaged, heavily against the law, morally wrong, hidden, not approved of, choice to do something. This is neither a situation where everyone is having fun and it is hard to understand it is wrong because who was hurt? How can anyone be confused as to whether something is wrong when the victim has no choice, is screaming in fear and pain, and is fighting you . . . or is completely unconscious?

And, if freedom of choice is the card you want to argue, then where is that same freedom for the victim?

So the perpetrator MAY get jail time, and they will live a life with time to distance their current day and their caught actions and they will say, “that was a long time ago, let it go. It isn’t fair to keep bringing it up.” But what about the victim?

Perhaps victims should also be given a “3 month sentence.” That would be preferable to the one they have, the one that lasts a life time. They live with it forever. It impacts the rest of their life in ways they never asked for. It is the gift that keeps on giving and they will most likely be in some kind of therapy for the rest of their lives as they look for answers and/or escape. They may never be able to have a normal or a healthy relationship. The damage is permanent and it is forever. At best they can learn coping mechanisms that are sometimes effective and often, not.

The very fact these perpetrators can ask people to “move on” or to “get over it,” proves they are still sick. They have no idea the damage they have caused their victims. So don’t tell the rest of us, “it is not fair,” because we already know that. We knew it when it happened. We lived it through the legal process – if there was any, and we live it every day of our lives. When are any of them going to start taking responsibility for THAT damage?

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