How Dare You?

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Yesterday I was in the grocery store waiting for my husband by the exit when a little boy, anxious to help his mommy, ran ahead to push a door open for her. Unfortunately, he chose the emergency exit door, which, in fairness to the child, from his height, looked like a regular door. Immediately a shrill piercing alarm began to sound and I did a slow pan across the front of the store looking for the manager who I was sure would be running with his jangling keys in hand to remedy the situation.

I stopped mid pan at a little boy who was standing with his dad.  He was sobbing, burying his head into his dad’s leg, trying to alternately press one ear and then the other against dad so he could stop the noise. I instantly knew he had Asperger’s. His chest was heaving in an out and the terror on his face was painful to see. His dad picked him up, spoke comforting words that everything was OK and took him outside away from the noise. My husband came and we headed outside as well.

The father was talking the little boy through it, telling him what had happened and constantly reassuring him he was safe.  He spoke calmly and quietly and gently maintained physical contact with the boy at all times.  He was encouraging him to stand on his own and he was leading him through processing it all. Continue reading

Bullying Asperger’s

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As many of you have already read, my grandson Noah, a 10 year old with Asperger’s, is currently in a psychiatric hospital because his only option to the bullying he suffered at school, seemed to be suicide.

He is perhaps one of the lucky ones.  I briefly heard a news report this week of another young boy with Asperger’s who had stabbed his bully.

We have started a group called Noah’s Ark for my grandson because now we must spend all our time trying to erase the damage caused and hoping to convince him that the bullies are the minority and that there are many good people out there in the world who care.  We also started a go fund page to help offset the cost for Noah’s family.  The victims are left with the damage and the costs.  The bullies are seldom taken to task.

Please join the group and offer words of encouragement to a little boy and please contribute if you can.

I found this incredible comprehensive article on bullying that I urge you to read.  Please spread the word.  This has to stop.

My Aspergers Child:  The Bullying of Aspergers Children

A sad fact: The majority of children with Aspergers will experience repeated bullying and/or victimization at school. Aspergers students are easy targets for a variety of reasons:

• Due to having a low social IQ, they let things build up …then retaliate without an awareness of what the consequences might be

• They appear different than their “typical” peers

• They are not always aware of teasing or bullying behavior

• “Intimidation” is not in their vocabulary

• The need to dominate or control others is not part of their personality

Aspergers children who are bullied are more likely to be depressed, anxious, and suicidal. They struggle in school (when they decide to show up at all). They’re more likely to carry weapons, get in physical fights, and abuse drugs. But when it comes to the actual damage bullying does, the picture becomes more clouded.  (read more by clicking link below.)

via My Aspergers Child: The Bullying of Aspergers Children.

You might also like:  Noah’s Fight Against His Bullies

Letter to My Grandson with Asperger’s.

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                                                                                (Poster:  http://www.etsy.com/listing/173094284/instant-download-star-wars-inspired)

My Dearest Noah;

I hope you know how much you are loved and that your pockets are full to overflowing with that love.  I hope it is love that helps you to shape the shield that you will need to do battle with life.

You have made us smile from the moment you were born with your bright blue eyes, and your red hair.  Your thoughtful evaluation of things before you speak and your drawl is a delight to all of us.  We have enjoyed your prowess in the swimming pool, your willingness to try new things and to be part of what the other kids are doing, just enjoying being “in the game,” without every getting caught up or lost in whether you are winning, or are the best.  How I wish I had been more open, like you are, to experiencing things, and less burdened with the notion of what others thought. Continue reading