Sometimes I wonder where these band leaders are when you need them most, in those dark moments where you are not chosen, again . . . or you sit alone in your room wondering what it would be like to have someone else “get” who you are.
We grow up and we learn to either compromise ourselves completely, or accept that ours will be a lonely path with few visitors along the way. We learn to roll with the punches and to perhaps remove ourselves or remain silent on those days when we are particularly vulnerable. Continue reading
People struggle to say “no.” Women more so than men.
It comes from lack of self esteem. We do not consider our needs to be important enough to place them first. We have been raised with messages that have taught us that a “good” woman or a “nice” woman is self sacrificing and always thinks of the needs of others. Add to that a healthy dose of religion and the idea that we should always serve others and you have the recipe used to make most people miserably unhappy. Continue reading
“You can tell all kinds of stories about yourself. “I am good”. “I am bad”. “I am kind”. “I am perfect”. “I am enlightened”. “I am unworthy”. “I am a failure”. “I am the best…” And so on. But these are all mental conclusions about something that is not a single ‘thing’ at all – something alive and always moving and forever renewing itself. You are a vast ocean, a wild fire, dynamic and untameable and inconsistent, not anything static or fixed in time or space. Why come to conclusions about yourself at all? Any conclusion cannot be what you really are, for you are beyond all conclusions, even that one, and yet there is enough space in you for all conclusions. Life itself is not a conclusion – conclusions are only there to be swept away and burnt up in the fire of living. Why limit yourself to a concept? Why fix yourself in time and space? Be your thrilling inconsistent ‘self’ – not a ‘self’ limited to a word, concept, idea or image, or even limited in time itself, but the vast indefinable Self of the ocean, wildly open and deeply accepting of all its beloved waves yet defined by none of them, limited to none of them. Be what you are – is that so hard?” Jeff Foster
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for. It doesn’t interest me how old you are, I want to know if you are willing to risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine. It doesn’t interest me where you live or how rich you are, I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and be sweet to the ones you love. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments of your life.” Oriah Mountain Dreamer
“Lots of people are born into lives that feel like a journey in the very middle of a big ship on familiar seas; they sit comfortably, crossing their legs, they know when the sun will rise and when the moon will wane, they have plans that they follow, they have a map! But then there are those of us, a few, who are born into lives that feel like standing at the very top of the ship’s stern; we have to stand up, hold on tight for dear life, we never know when the waves will rock and we never know where the sun will set or when the moon will wane! Nothing follows the laws of common nature and we live in a wild, wild awakening and the only map we have is the map of the stars! We’re called to see the lighting tear at the horizon, we’re chosen to roar with the tempests, but we’re also the first ones to see the suns rise, the first ones to watch the moons form anew! There is nothing ordinary, nothing at all. But neither are we! And we wouldn’t want it any other way!” C Joybell C
It is too hard to fake yourself day in and day out and let’s face it we want what we want. Continue reading