Child Abuse – Parental Alienation Syndrome. It Is Time to Answer for it.

taught to them

“Encouraging a child to betray one of the most important members of his family be it the father or the mother produces within that child a tendency towards psychopathic behaviour. Once the alienating parent has denigrated the other parent to the child, the child due to the pressure upon him and the “power” wielded by the alienator needs to carry on the process of denigration.

Children who suffer from the PAS syndrome develop a concept that one parent is the loving parent and hence to be loved back while the other is the hated parent who has done evil or wickedness, etc., not only towards the alienating parent but towards the child. This has been consciously as well as unconsciously indoctrinated in to the child. This has also resulted in fear as well as hatred for the alienated parent. Virtually all indoctrination of a negative type is carried out by the mother who usually retains the child in residence. Occasionally it is the father or one of the relations to the child who may have taken over the role of parenting. Continue reading

God Parents, Does God Know What Kind of Parent You Are?

Godmother

I am not an expert on God Parents and have never had one or been one.  I fully recognize that being a God Parent is not a legal position.  Basically a God Parent is someone who parents pick to take a special interest in their children.  Should anything happen to the parents, the God Parent is suppose to care for the child(ren).

Now most people are named as God Parents and after the last pretty little cupcake is consumed from the christening, the subject is never again raised.  Others might make mention of and include these people in special family times  and then there are those that make a point of standing up and asserting their God Parentness all over social media and anyone else who will listen.  Continue reading

Saying Goodbye to the Grand Child Who Hates Me.

one of the hardest things

There are grandchildren that I will never know because their parent is denied any access, not by the courts, but by the parent/step parent raising them.

These children have been taught to hate.  They have been filled with lies that are supported not only by their one birth parent, but by the people around them.  I am at a loss because I don’t think I have ever associated with anyone who would have allowed me to speak such horrible things in front of an adult let alone a child.  My friends and family would have called me on such behaviour.  They would have told me that a child needs both parents.  They would have urged me towards compassion. Continue reading

13 Changes I Would Like to See In Family Court.

my wish list

Observing the practices in family court in Alberta, Canada and Queensland, Australia, both supposedly using the same legal system, Queensland leaves Alberta for dead.  The professionalism, thoroughness, and level of care, is so superior, I am embarrassed by what happens in Alberta.  But even Queensland has plenty of room for improvement and the horror stories of what happens in family court are not unique to one country.

This is my wish list: Continue reading

Who is Raising Our Children?

parental abuse

Our children have no way of really understanding how their parents sacrificed for them. Especially not in a war being fought in family courts with lies and parents and step parents bidding for children with money and privilege as if they are real evidence of love.

They aren’t.

A wide screen TV, no matter how cool the model, has never made up for the lack of real connection in people’s lives. It is, at best, a temporary distraction. They can never give a person purpose or grounding or ever feed their soul through the long dark night. Continue reading

PAS – Let’s Talk About Step Moms.

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There are plenty of problems with step moms who overstep their boundaries with their step child and who make a difficult situation worse.

Your ego has NO PLACE in the situation you find yourself in.  You got involved with a man who has a history that involves his children from a previous marriage/relationship.  You clearly chose to be in this position.

The children come first. Continue reading

News From the Family Wars.

Strong children

I love this article on step parenting, the approach to it, the attitude, the understanding of what is important.

http://themidlifedebutante.com/2014/07/lessons-in-parenting/

I have never understood how adults act without any connection to the pain they are causing their children.  I have never understood choosing to live in a living room filled with constant hate and a hyper vigilant need to destroy or undermine the other parent.  Children are forced to live with that and their response is to do whatever is necessary to create peace.  Sadly, most often, that requires them to play the game of hating the other parent and never visiting them because at least then it makes the primary care parent calmer.  These children are not choosing to alienate the other parent.  They are beaten into submission by the hate of the controlling parent. Continue reading

TSV Good Advice for Parents Caught up in PAS.

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How to Save Your Child and Yourself
From the Effects of
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

By
Dr. Reena Sommer

Anyone one who has experienced or witnessed a child’s outright rejection of a parent with whom they once shared a reciprocally warm, loving, nurturing relationship will understand how devastating the effects of parental alienation syndrome can be. Perhaps more painful than experiencing a son or daughter’s rejection is watching that child’s own sense of confusion, bewilderment and grief mount through a denial of a parent’s love and a bond that developed from birth.  (more here …)