“So many people get judged when they refuse to put their pain away. They get judged for showing it, for speaking it, for insisting on sharing their memories of abuse with those they know. I am not talking about those overwhelming strangers with their stuff—I am talking about legitimate sharings with those they are connected with in daily life. All too often, they are fed one repressive message or another: “Don’t look back,” “What’s done is done,” “Don’t be a victim,” “Your feelings are an illusion,” “Be strong.” What is ironic about this is that those who insist on embodying and expressing their feelings are actually the courageous ones—unwilling and unable to live a false life. Their stuff is breaking through their defenses because they are tired of carrying the weight of buried truths. They want a healthier and more authentic life. Those who seek to shame their revealings are actually less courageous, turning to repressive mantras in an effort to bypass their own unresolved feelings and memories. If they can shut others down, they can remain shut down themselves. But shut down doesn’t take us anywhere good. If we don’t deal with our stuff, it deals with us. May we all speak our truths, before our buried truths destroy us. Out with the old, in with the true…” Jeff Brown
“Feelings are like messengers, knocking on your door, telling you when you have a particular belief that you may not be consciously aware of. So if you have a feeling of fear, a feeling of anger, a feeling of sadness, a feeling of loss- that is a messenger knocking on your door saying ‘Hey, I’m bringing your attention to the fact that you are flowing your energy through a belief system that’s out of alignment with your true self’. Find out what it is and then you can say ‘Thank you, feeling, for being my friend and bringing my attention to a belief I didn’t know was there.’- because you see, any time you flow your energy through a belief system that’s out of alignment with your true self-that’s how you feel it in what you call a “negative way”. When you flow the same energy through beliefs that are IN alignment with your true vibration, you feel It in a ‘positive way’.” Bashar
It is hard to be tender hearted. Despite the best efforts of my grandparents who raised me, my teachers, all the cruelty of the world and the mean heartedness of some people, I have survived. I stopped fighting it as a young woman when I finally realized that despite the pain, it was also my greatest gift, affording me sight and understanding that not everyone else had.
But compassion is not just a gift, it is a necessity for our lives, and especially for the future of our children. Continue reading
“If you really want to know your mind, the body will always give you a truthful reflection, so look at the emotion, or rather feel it in your body. If there is an apparent conflict between thought and emotion, the thought will be the lie, the emotion will be the truth. Not the ultimate truth of who you are, but the relative truth of your state of mind at that time.” Eckhart Tolle
Someone ever tell you to let something go that was in the past, and yet … you can’t?
Past experiences that stay with us, the ones we remember, have an emotional charge to them. There is a hook that keeps pulling us back. That hook can be a pleasant one where we experience joy or happiness as we think about them, or they can be painful.
Life has a great way of protecting us from things we are incapable of, or unwilling, to face – it allows us to bury them for a period of time. We can suppress them to the point of not remembering them, or we can just Polly-Anne them to the bottom of our to-do list. But eventually our barriers are broken down and we end up with the item sitting in the middle of our life, insisting we deal with it. Dealing with it involves finally acknowledging, experiencing, and processing the emotions. Continue reading
Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C. said, “A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”
There are times when people come to us and tell us a tale of an incident between them and someone else. We listen and become angered for them, shifting our feelings in alignment with their position. Soon we are feeling the exact anger towards the person over something that never happened to us – but in the telling – our emotions have been coaxed, and we stand with our “friend” on the distinct side of a line. Continue reading
I came across this article on Why Anger is the New Sex by Joanne Chen. It speaks of the growing trend towards anger and suggests it is a good thing. While I do agree it is important for people to express their feelings, anger is an emotional choice we make to express our feelings and I do not agree it is a healthy nor a desirable outcome to subject someone else to your angry tirade.
There is nothing sexy about anger. Continue reading