Today I started my day by reading three different stories where incidents had occurred between a woman and a man. The man was definitely in the wrong in each story, providing that the stories were accurately reported, but what struck me was where each story led. Three different writers all ended up with the same theme, one man did a bad thing and therefore all men are bad and women were cautioned to expect the exact same incident from any and all the men that they know.
This seems to be the norm now – the idea that a man is a rapist/pig/stupid/violent/abusive animal, incapable of participating in the same world that women occupy. The jokes are no longer good-natured and funny. Instead, there is a decided barb to every comment women seem to make about men. Women are even translating that into promoting and celebrating violence against men. Continue reading →
Dialogue is the substance of effective problem solving. A topic alone can be too broad and ends up with people on opposing sides shouting rhetoric at one another that does not even remotely resemble the give and take of meaningful discussion. People come to these situations with a suitcase full of catchy phrases and half stated facts from half read articles that came to them on Facebook during one evening commute home on the train. The object of the exchange seems to be to unpack that suitcase as quickly as one can, flinging the phrases with all the strength you can muster, and then to grab the empty suitcase and head home. Continue reading →
“The researchers said the incidence of developmental abnormalities by alcohol use was ‘statistically significant,’” according to examiner.com. “They concluded that paternal alcohol exposure prior to conception causes developmental defects in the next generation. Transgenerational toxicity — a health effect that occurs when a pollutant or toxic substance passes from a parent to an offspring — caused by paternal alcohol exposure ‘is possibly mediated through alcohol-induced changes in sperm’ at the DNA level.”Continue reading →
“We all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow path and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and our youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.” Robert R. McCammon
We are all imperfect human beings, trying to do the best we can with what we have. We make mistakes. Some of those mistakes are easy for others to see, which makes people easy targets for others to shake their heads and call them stupid. Some mistakes are easily spotted by some or even most people. With my own children I often see where things are going to lead long before they hit the mud. Sometimes it is appropriate for me to caution, more often, now that they are adults, it is not. Parenting is a life time responsibility to love and support the human beings you birthed into the world.
Parental Alienations Syndrome is Child Abuse and anyone who supports a woman or a man who keeps their children from seeing their other parent, and spews lies and garbage about them to make the child hate them, belongs in jail. It damages the child for life.
Observing the practices in family court in Alberta, Canada and Queensland, Australia, both supposedly using the same legal system, Queensland leaves Alberta for dead. The professionalism, thoroughness, and level of care, is so superior, I am embarrassed by what happens in Alberta. But even Queensland has plenty of room for improvement and the horror stories of what happens in family court are not unique to one country.
The ALS ice bucket challenge is all over the internet. Lots of people are doing it in half measures (no ice – which I suppose is proof of how cold the water actually is)and some are doing it without any real understanding of the purpose behind it. Such is the power of the internet. We don’t even have to understand something in order to line up to do it because everyone else is.
I was impacted by the pictures of him tending to his mother. It brought back too many memories of the 3 years my husband suffered before he died. It also brought back conversations we had where he asked me to make sure that I shared his story so that this did not have to happen to any other families. That was kind of how he rolled. He hung on way beyond anyone’s expectations because he was worried about the kids and I. He took his friends out for coffee or lunch to tell them he was dying because he could not bear that they would “hear it” casually from someone else. He wanted people to know he knew he was dying and that he would be ok. He wanted them to know he appreciated them. He wanted his suffering to create understanding and compassion and maybe even force changes for other Acute Intermittent Porphyria Sufferers.
There are plenty of problems with step moms who overstep their boundaries with their step child and who make a difficult situation worse.
Your ego has NO PLACE in the situation you find yourself in. You got involved with a man who has a history that involves his children from a previous marriage/relationship. You clearly chose to be in this position.
I have never understood how adults act without any connection to the pain they are causing their children. I have never understood choosing to live in a living room filled with constant hate and a hyper vigilant need to destroy or undermine the other parent. Children are forced to live with that and their response is to do whatever is necessary to create peace. Sadly, most often, that requires them to play the game of hating the other parent and never visiting them because at least then it makes the primary care parent calmer. These children are not choosing to alienate the other parent. They are beaten into submission by the hate of the controlling parent. Continue reading →
How to Save Your Child and Yourself
From the Effects of
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)
Dr. Reena Sommer
Anyone one who has experienced or witnessed a child’s outright rejection of a parent with whom they once shared a reciprocally warm, loving, nurturing relationship will understand how devastating the effects of parental alienation syndrome can be. Perhaps more painful than experiencing a son or daughter’s rejection is watching that child’s own sense of confusion, bewilderment and grief mount through a denial of a parent’s love and a bond that developed from birth. (more here …)