I received a phone call this morning from a young woman who asked me to check my email. She had sent me a copy of Family Law Reform Coalition press release. I was impressed because in her little corner of her world, where much of life passes her by on a regular basis, she was awake enough to care about what is on her plate. She is not likely ever going to be anyone that the world will know, but with each event in her life, she is waking up, paying attention and engaging. I admire her for that.
An overhaul of Family Court is due in most countries. The only people who do not understand the need for this, are those who have never had to use it.
Family court, unlike any of the other courts, makes allowance for people’s emotions during a difficult time, which is the only excuse I come up for as to why they do not enforce the basic rules and codes of conduct that are upheld in the other courts. The most blatant of which is the amount of lying that goes on. People lie in their affidavits. They lie to the court ordered psychologists and psychiatrists. They lie in their testimony. They lie for themselves. They lie for their families and friends. And those lies are often proven during the course of the case that is being decided, and NOTHING is done about it.
By nothing, I mean I have never heard anyone being charged with perjury, despite the same wording being on everything people sign regarding swearing that you are telling the truth and it being a criminal offense to lie.
The problem with this is that it leads to people lying to the Police, to Social Services, and to Maintenance. In some instances it is even teaching the children involved how to lie and that our courts do not deserve respect. Making you swear to tell the whole truth doesn’t actually mean the “true truth.” Based on these lies people’s lives are ruined, their wages are being garnisheed and charges and judgments are placed against them. Continue reading →
How many women play games with their child’s father, long after the split up and divorce, these women are still so fixated on “getting him” that some cannot move on and have a healthy relationship with anyone else. EVERYTHING is about the partner who is no longer with them. Hating them takes up their whole life and causes them to do everything they can to poison the child against that parent.
Years after the break up they are still telling anyone who listens that all the problems their child suffers with are caused by their father. If a child is not improving a couple of years after being removed from their “horrible father,” then perhaps the problem was not the father, but the mother.
When women go out of their way to cause problems or involve themselves in their ex’s life years after the split, for the single purpose of creating drama and problems for him, someone needs to be asking some serious questions about the mental state of these women and their suitability to be responsible for raising any child.
I am going to once again plug this site on Parental Alienation and I am asking people to read it and pay close attention to the signs of an abusing parent, the signs of an abused child, and ask yourself if you are supporting someone who is alienating their child. We are destroying our children with our need to exact revenge for our own problems. Our children deserve better than that. WE are the village. WE can change things if we simply educate ourselves and do what we can with our own responsibilities and spheres of influence.
I am not an expert on God Parents and have never had one or been one. I fully recognize that being a God Parent is not a legal position. Basically a God Parent is someone who parents pick to take a special interest in their children. Should anything happen to the parents, the God Parent is suppose to care for the child(ren).
Now most people are named as God Parents and after the last pretty little cupcake is consumed from the christening, the subject is never again raised. Others might make mention of and include these people in special family times and then there are those that make a point of standing up and asserting their God Parentness all over social media and anyone else who will listen. Continue reading →
Observing the practices in family court in Alberta, Canada and Queensland, Australia, both supposedly using the same legal system, Queensland leaves Alberta for dead. The professionalism, thoroughness, and level of care, is so superior, I am embarrassed by what happens in Alberta. But even Queensland has plenty of room for improvement and the horror stories of what happens in family court are not unique to one country.
When I was in my early twenties, and speaking at a national forum in Ottawa, an elderly man came up to me afterwards wanting to talk. I turned and reached out my hand to greet him and before I knew it, he had me in a hug. “You are a Saint,” he whispered into my ear. Then he released me and stood back. There were tears in his eyes.
I was deeply embarrassed and assured him I was certainly NOT a Saint. I had made so many mistakes in my life. Newly released from my teenage years, married and mother of 2 children at that point, I was acutely aware of my shortcomings in the “Saint” department. I explained to him that I was certainly NOT a “Saint.” Continue reading →
I would say it is in the shape of the parent being kept out of their lives. We have to acknowledge that alienation happens to both moms and dads. Frankly anyone who would do this a child, is a disgusting human being. I am not sure how anyone can be immune to the obvious signs of a child whose soul is being crushed by the hate one parent has for the other.
Another great website with some super practical tips for dealing with the alienation: