“People are not happy because their lives are easy. They are happy because it is a choice they make. They decide to be happy regardless of what is happening around them or to them. You do not find happiness. It does not come to you. Happiness can only come from you.” Aria E. Appleford
“I actually attack the concept of happiness. I don’t mind people being happy – but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying ‘write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep’, and ‘cheer up’ and ‘happiness is our birthright’ and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position – it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say ‘Quick! Move on! Cheer up!’. I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word ‘happiness’ and to replace it with the word ‘wholeness’. Ask yourself ‘is this contributing to my wholeness?’ and if you’re having a bad day, it is.” Hugh Mackay
Life sometimes puts us in a place where we are incredibly unhappy. We have tried to do the right thing, we may be doing everything that has been prescribed for us as steps to (insert goal here) and yet nothing is working out and more than that, we are so miserable we feel lost.
Our first response is to attack ourselves and lay blame on our abilities, our understanding . . . our worth.
That usually leads to us trying harder. Continue reading
How sad that as we age we are expected to take life seriously. I have never understood why people assume because you are laughing and having a good time, or even dancing on your desk , that you are not being responsible.
I tried the “sit down and act like a grown up” and it was uncomfortable, restrictive , and boring.
I am not a one dimensional robot. Continue reading
It is hard to haul yourself out of bed and plaster a smile on your face and take a crappy situation and turn it around. It is hard to do that walk past the very people who have made your life miserable and choose not to engage, but instead to keep focused on what you came there to do. Happiness thieves are all around us, trying to bully others into a dark world of misery and drama and fighting. Some do it with sins of commission while others choose omission as their weapon of choice. Continue reading
It has always struck me as such a contradiction that we send people to classes on self-esteem and to have confidence, but the moment someone is comfortable in their own skin, or able to promote their abilities, we are ready to get the tar and feathers.
The journey for me, to know myself, has been filled with truths. I am probably more brutally honest with myself, more critical, more willing to say the unsaid, than any of my enemies can dream of. When I can stand up and raise my hand and volunteer that I can indeed do something, it comes from a painful journey of self awareness. To get there, I am also aware of the many things I cannot do well or maybe not at all. Am I expected to raise my hand to announce – I cannot do that, I suck at it … completely? Continue reading
Someone ever tell you to let something go that was in the past, and yet … you can’t?
Past experiences that stay with us, the ones we remember, have an emotional charge to them. There is a hook that keeps pulling us back. That hook can be a pleasant one where we experience joy or happiness as we think about them, or they can be painful.
Life has a great way of protecting us from things we are incapable of, or unwilling, to face – it allows us to bury them for a period of time. We can suppress them to the point of not remembering them, or we can just Polly-Anne them to the bottom of our to-do list. But eventually our barriers are broken down and we end up with the item sitting in the middle of our life, insisting we deal with it. Dealing with it involves finally acknowledging, experiencing, and processing the emotions. Continue reading