Fear of the Struggle.

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There is a talented woman named Gaelynn Lea whose life and talents are an inspiration to all of us.  She truly shows us ” . . . what can be done with a life.”  She has said,   “I really want there to be the acknowledgement that life is both difficult and beautiful at the same time.”

I wish to provide my acknowledgement of this truth.

We fear the struggle because that is what we have been taught.  In a world where even the poorest of those around me enjoy an affluence that a significant part of the rest of the world can only dream of,  people tend to react to their own suffering with shame while the suffering of others is often repugnant and seen as a reflection of lack in their character.

Money can alleviate, hide and even eliminate suffering.  What we hold up as evidence of value of human beings is beauty, evidence of money, and a lavish lifestyle.  We will overlook character flaws, inner ugliness and even criminal activity in our admiration and pursuit of these things.  Parents push their children to win at all costs, to seek careers that will provide them greater status and we seek partners that can either provide us with a free ticket or at least add to our own efforts. Continue reading

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Grace

grace

Sometimes I wander in that place where I feel completely and totally alone.  My pain is like a cancer that is eating me whole.  I cannot find the words to ask for help.  The smiling happy faces of those who praise Jesus for answering their prayers and helping them to win the head cheerleader position is salt in my open wounds.  I am not lifted or encouraged by their sharing.  Instead, I consider that I am that unworthy that my pain is not as important as someone else’s cheerleading.

I cry so hard sometimes I am afraid I will never be able to stop and when I do stop … exhausted and gulping for air in staccatoed gasps I am still alone and the silence is like a roar that never ends.  Does anyone love me?

I know these are my demons, gifts from a childhood where I was delivered into the hands of people who at best never wanted me and at worst … well, I leave those stories untold… Continue reading

I am His Hands. He is My Eyes.

Some people see limits where other people see possibilities.  Some people say, “I can’t” when others always “can.”  Some people give up and others never quit trying.

Somewhere in the pain of life we find our path.  We fight against our circumstances which are always more than we ever knew.  We curse God.  We hurt the people we love the most.  We run until we realize we can never outrun ourselves and there is nothing to do but to sit with those circumstances and learn the lessons.

How lonely we all are in our own lives, swinging away at our demons and fighting off the monsters that stalk us through the night.  How much easier life would be if we could only stop working so hard at keeping up our image that all of life’s lessons seem to assert as the only thing worth fighting for.  We have to be strong.  We have to be successful.  We have to be perfect… even when all we want to do is cry. Continue reading

TFFT: The Calm in The Eye of The Storm.

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This speaks to me today.  There is so much going on in the world and people are either preparing for war, or cowering in their homes, afraid of every shadow that moves.  There is talk of storing enough food, enough guns .. of being prepared to die, of having no choice but to accept you will die.

Within individual lives are storms of pain regarding relationships, addictions, financial worries, health . .. people struggle and feel isolated with the problems that greet them each morning with relentless regularity. Continue reading

Compassion Network Daily

The Compassion Network

Passion without Borders. Time to lay down blame and accept responsibility for the way the world is. Let’s build bridges of hope with one another and lift each other up by sharing our stories, learnings, resources, and ideas.

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Quote

“Lots of people are born into lives that feel like a journey in the very middle of a big ship on familiar seas; they sit comfortably, crossing their legs, they know when the sun will rise and when the moon will wane, they have plans that they follow, they have a map! But then there are those of us, a few, who are born into lives that feel like standing at the very top of the ship’s stern; we have to stand up, hold on tight for dear life, we never know when the waves will rock and we never know where the sun will set or when the moon will wane! Nothing follows the laws of common nature and we live in a wild, wild awakening and the only map we have is the map of the stars! We’re called to see the lighting tear at the horizon, we’re chosen to roar with the tempests, but we’re also the first ones to see the suns rise, the first ones to watch the moons form anew! There is nothing ordinary, nothing at all. But neither are we! And we wouldn’t want it any other way!”  C Joybell C