“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.
When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy.
It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable. ” Mark Nepo
It is hard to hang on to who you are. It is particularly hard when the anger and hate of others impacts you. There are many people now who are acutely aware of the bad mood, and the negativity of others. It is part and parcel of a growing ability for empathy and a development of a deeper compassion. When you feel the emotions of others, how do you not let them take over and pull you from your own centre? Continue reading
Allow me a moment.
Today I woke up sad.
As I sat drinking my morning coffee and looking out over the day which was unfolding before me, I was thinking back to all the early mornings I was up, wondering how I would make it through the day without any sleep the night before, rocking a baby who had finally fallen asleep, now that that everyone else was about to wake up. Continue reading
“The doors we open and close each day decides the lives we live.” Buddha
Doors close. Sometimes doors are closed by us and sometimes they are closed for us by others. Some are slammed and others softly close.
There are doors you knew needed closing but you were reluctant to close out of consideration for others and not wanting to hurt them .. and then they slam the door without a second thought for you. You experience the pain of betrayal as you focus on the lack of regard for your feelings by the other person. You did not close the door yourself, you did not want to hurt the other person. There was no other way for this to end except that YOU would be hurt. Either you would continue on in an untenable position – miserable – or you would be betrayed by them. Continue reading
“There’s two things people do with the shit of life. The first person puts it in their bag, in their pockets, up their shirt, down their trousers. They carry it around with them! ‘Why me? It’s unfair, it’s terrible, it’s not nice!’ That’s called ‘carrying the shit.’ Now you find if you carry shit around you lose a lot of friends…But there’s the other thing you can do with the cow shit of life….You dig it into your garden! So instead of just complaining about it, you make use of it…It takes a long time sometimes when you’re in the middle of this. You can’t just get rid of it in an instant. It takes weeks, sometimes years. You keep digging in a little bit every day. But it always happens that that moment occurs when you look in front of your door and that whole pile of shit is gone. It’s vanished. It hasn’t gone nowhere. Something’s happened in the back garden…These beautiful flowers so fragrant that people walking down the street can smell it and they like to visit to see your amazing garden. And your fruit trees – the apples in there are so delicious and sweet. So much so you give them to all your friends…Your garden which you grow from the shit of your life is not just for you. It’s for everybody who even comes close to you.” Ajahn Brahm
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” Jack Kornfield
I was sitting out by the pool today and reflecting.
We talk about letting go of things and often it is in terms of the bad things in our life. Sometimes we talk about the past, sometimes about people and situations that are not really healthy for us. We talk about letting go so that we can move on to new and better things. Continue reading
We are not in charge of other people’s lives. The best we can do is to share their journey and encourage them. We can empower people by letting them know they are strong enough to find their own way … to find their own answers. That is being a friend, a parent, a teacher …
Usurping stewardship from others is evil. It is about control and it is about imposing our beliefs and ideals and needs onto others. If you only love someone as long as they agree with you, or as long as they do as you want them to, it is not love. Loving one another is about allowing other people to be who they are and you focusing on who you are. Continue reading