“My Love”  by Sia

My love, leave yourself behind,
Beat inside me, leave you blind.
My love, you have found peace.
You were searching for relief.

You gave it all,
Gave into the call.
You took a chance and
You took a fall for us.

You came thoughtfully,
Loved me faithfully
You taught me honor,
You did it for me.

Today you will sleep away
You will wait for me, my love

Now I am strong (now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had, and now I am whole.

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind.
My love, look what you can do.
I am mending, I’ll be with you.

You took my hand, added a plan,
You gave me your heart.
I asked you to dance with me.

You loved honestly,
Gave what you could release.
Ah oh.

I know in peace you’ll go.
I hope relief is yours.

Now I am strong (now I am strong).
You gave me all.
You gave all you had, and now I am whole.

My love beat inside me
My love

My love, leave yourself behind,
Beat inside me, I’ll be with you.

Today it has been 7,555 days since you passed away.

Your imprint on our lives is evident in the happiness I am privileged to feel and live each and every day. How thankful I am for the journey we shared and all that it taught us.

I still miss you and wonder why you had to go so very soon.

If not for you and all of our time together, I would not be here, I would not be the person I am today. I hope your time is equally full of happiness and peace.

One day we shall meet again, face to face….

Just A Place I Used To Be

hold on

When did it happen? Somewhere, seemingly in the night, while I lay sleeping, life shifted.

It changed from this epic journey I was on where everything was possible, to a journey I had been on. Like a roller coaster ride, I boarded it, so excited and full of excitement and then suddenly we were climbing the biggest hill, pausing at the top, taking in the view and then whizzing around the track, laughing, gasping, holding on for dear life, barely able to scan ahead to see what was coming next. And then, suddenly you could feel it begin to lose its momentum and the ups and downs began to lessen and level out. The curves were not as tight and the speed was lost and you knew you were heading for the platform where the ride ends.

How we would wish for one more big thrill. But no matter how hard we wished, the ride was coming to an end.

I woke up one morning and the way I looked at things was different. Nothing had happened, there had not been some big epiphany, nor had I made a monumental choice, it was just different. Once where I would look at something and it felt like a someday possibility, things now remind me that part is over. There is a sadness all mixed up in my go to it attitude and joy of life. Continue reading

Saying Goodbye to the Grand Child Who Hates Me.

one of the hardest things

There are grandchildren that I will never know because their parent is denied any access, not by the courts, but by the parent/step parent raising them.

These children have been taught to hate.  They have been filled with lies that are supported not only by their one birth parent, but by the people around them.  I am at a loss because I don’t think I have ever associated with anyone who would have allowed me to speak such horrible things in front of an adult let alone a child.  My friends and family would have called me on such behaviour.  They would have told me that a child needs both parents.  They would have urged me towards compassion. Continue reading