I Wanted Clusters!

NOT CLUSTERS

I am not sure why men can’t listen to what you say to them. I mean, I make eye contact, I move my mouth really slowly just in case my hubby is actually deaf and has somehow managed to get through life reading lips and it is discovered one day and everyone goes “wow that is an amazing story” and they make one of those mini movies they send around to your email with music and fluffy kitties and people pretend they have something in their eye while they type in the names of 343 of their closest friends to send it on to so that they don’t die a horrible death, lose all their money or have a loved one die in a car crash.  You don’t want to pass on having something incredible happen in exactly 34.3 minutes.  I also worry about whether someone makes his life story into a movie … “Alan Keller” and he comes off looking like a complete saint and because every movie, no matter how short, needs a villian .. . They identify me.  So I speak very slowly …. Continue reading

Are You Freaking Kidding Me Looks at Internet Dating/Mating Advice.

dating

A while ago I read an article from a guy who was giving women tips on what men are like.  He made them sound like completely mindless douche canoes.  According to him men are incapable of knowing what they want and women should play these games with him because he gets reeled in by a woman’s butt or her breasts and it is up to women to then know how to play mind games with him.  As a woman reading that I am thinking, why would any woman put up the effort?  I have not heard from the guy since.  I am anticipating that A:  either a bunch of men found him and “requested” he stop typing or “permanently banned” him for keyboards, talking, drawing pictures, or making any motions with his hands that could be considered communication, B:  a bunch of women found him, reeled him in and he is sitting on a couch somewhere drinking beer and scratching himself while his “wife” maxes out his credit card, or C:  His mother found him in he basement and beat him senseless. Continue reading