While other kids were getting their “Strawberry Shortcake” back packs I was insistent on a briefcase. I had some important stuff and no way was I going to trust it to some pony that sparkled or that dimwit Barbie. I firmly believed that if you were going to be taken seriously, you had to dress the part.
It was really effective in church. They would herd us into Sunday School class – I am serious … this bell would sound and this guy who looked like Moses leading the Israelites (only we were more miniature and in fluffier dresses)would take us through the wilderness (the pews) to the promised land of milk and cookies. It would be years before I found out that “Moses” was a woman and that yes, women could have facial hair like that and really ugly brown sandals. Continue reading
Our children have no way of really understanding how their parents sacrificed for them. Especially not in a war being fought in family courts with lies and parents and step parents bidding for children with money and privilege as if they are real evidence of love.
A wide screen TV, no matter how cool the model, has never made up for the lack of real connection in people’s lives. It is, at best, a temporary distraction. They can never give a person purpose or grounding or ever feed their soul through the long dark night. Continue reading
“Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them.
They move on. They move away.
The moments that used to define them are covered by
moments of their own accomplishments.
It is not until much later, that
their stories and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories
of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones,
beneath the water of their lives.”
I was once called in to assist with a group of teenage girls who were so rude and out of control that no-one would work with them. I sat in and observed a number of situations and saw the deterioration of every organized event. It was war between the girls and everyone else. Parents stood by wringing their hands, wanting to just have their daughters fall into line, march quietly, and make them proud. There was nothing quiet about any of these girls. Continue reading
Powerful checklists for us all to consider. All of us can take more responsibility and be aware of anything we do that contributes to this problem.
This is not just about those people who are involved in custody battles, it is also about the support groups for those people. This includes family and friends who, perhaps unwittingly, are giving their approval and support to the actions of a parent who is actually ABUSING their child. Saying nothing is not an option. Encouraging them to keep children from their other parent is not healthy. Facilitating that is to participate in the abuse. Educate yourself. Support the well being of children. They are more important than hate.
Read the rest of the article here: http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/symptoms_of_HAP.asp
For the kids who are lost and hurting. For the parents whose arms and hearts are aching. For the systems that are broken and the agencies that have lost the plot somewhere along the way. For the people so full of hate that they use their children as weapons against the other parent. It is time to look at our children and see the pain we have caused. The system is broken. We are broken. And we are breaking an entire generation with our abuse of their hearts. Continue reading
I think we can all feel for Mike and hopefully our parents read this and reflect on all the times they said no to us and that we were fragile and they were cruel and ya … an apology with some money would go a long way to facilitate healing ….just saying …