PAS – Let’s Talk About Step Moms.


There are plenty of problems with step moms who overstep their boundaries with their step child and who make a difficult situation worse.

Your ego has NO PLACE in the situation you find yourself in.  You got involved with a man who has a history that involves his children from a previous marriage/relationship.  You clearly chose to be in this position.

The children come first. Continue reading

News From the Family Wars.

Strong children

I love this article on step parenting, the approach to it, the attitude, the understanding of what is important.

I have never understood how adults act without any connection to the pain they are causing their children.  I have never understood choosing to live in a living room filled with constant hate and a hyper vigilant need to destroy or undermine the other parent.  Children are forced to live with that and their response is to do whatever is necessary to create peace.  Sadly, most often, that requires them to play the game of hating the other parent and never visiting them because at least then it makes the primary care parent calmer.  These children are not choosing to alienate the other parent.  They are beaten into submission by the hate of the controlling parent. Continue reading

TSV Good Advice for Parents Caught up in PAS.


How to Save Your Child and Yourself
From the Effects of
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Dr. Reena Sommer

Anyone one who has experienced or witnessed a child’s outright rejection of a parent with whom they once shared a reciprocally warm, loving, nurturing relationship will understand how devastating the effects of parental alienation syndrome can be. Perhaps more painful than experiencing a son or daughter’s rejection is watching that child’s own sense of confusion, bewilderment and grief mount through a denial of a parent’s love and a bond that developed from birth.  (more here …)

TSV The Impact of Parental Alienation on Children



The Impact of Parental Alienation Syndrome. . . “There is now scholarly consensus that severe alienation is abusive to children (Fidler and Bala, 2010), and it is a largely overlooked form of child abuse (Bernet et al, 2010) . . . ”

Every child has a fundamental need for love and protection.

Continue reading

Parental Alienation or Parental Alienation Syndrome??

Do you know the difference between Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)? One is the cause of and the other is the result of.


Outstanding article and website:

We have to stop this from happening.  The long term damage of children growing up alienated from one of their parents and that whole parents family, who love the child is a much deeper problem than you might think.  Consider the cost of raising children to adulthood, coached and coerced into hating someone who is supposed to love and nurture them?  Then consider the impact of that child one day realizing that the parent who taught them to hate, lied and used them to promote their own hate. Continue reading

Kids Have a Hole in Their Soul.


I would say it is in the shape of the parent being kept out of their lives.  We have to acknowledge that alienation happens to both moms and dads.  Frankly anyone who would do this a child, is a disgusting human being.  I am not sure how anyone can be immune to the obvious signs of a child whose soul is being crushed by the hate one parent has for the other.

Another great website with some super practical tips for dealing with the alienation:

We Have Wars Because Parents Teach Hate.

only Love

When I was in my early twenties, and speaking at a national forum in Ottawa, an elderly man came up to me afterwards wanting to talk.  I turned and reached out my hand to greet him and before I knew it, he had me in a hug.  “You are a Saint,” he whispered into my ear.  Then he released me and stood back.  There were tears in his eyes.

I was deeply embarrassed and assured him I was certainly NOT a Saint.  I had made so many mistakes in my life.  Newly released from my teenage years,  married and mother of 2 children at that point, I was acutely aware of my shortcomings in the “Saint” department.  I explained to him that I was certainly NOT a “Saint.” Continue reading

PAS and Mother’s Day.


Another good site with discussion and sharing.

Good parents know that no child hates their parent unless they are taught. Good parents know how to protect a child’s heart and not to poison it with their own hate. That is not love, that is using the child as a weapon because you are inadequate as a human being and need help.

Parents who applaud or encourage a child to say or do mean or hateful things to their other parent are despicable bullying human beings. if you want to know why kids are bullying one another check out these parents.


I am particularly highlighting one of his posts that may help in your quest to understand if you are a victim of PAS. Continue reading