If you stop and think about the thing or person you are mad at, or hurt over, or missing, you will realize that you are the one who keeps feeding the emotion. Healing is about letting go of that cycle, of minimizing our reaction to stimuli. But WE are the ones often creating the stimuli.
Our thoughts usually go over what happened, what was last said etc. We imagine scenarios where we are playing with the key characters in exactly the same way we did with our toys as children. We pick up one person and then the other. We control how they act and what is said. We make the whole scene. Unfortunately we often make it much worse than it was, or we imagine things and we respond emotionally to them as if they really happened. Why? Because our minds process the information from what actually happens in the same way it processes things we imagine. It is the science behind why phobias are so real for people. Continue reading