“Authenticity is not just a word. It’s not just a trendy concept. It’s not just a way to sell product. It’s a heartcore path. It’s a perilous journey. It’s a way of being that is not influenced by political considerations, not concerned with how it will be judged, not souling itself out for the mighty dollar. An authentic being bows down before nothing untrue. She owns her truth no matter the consequences. He is inspired from the inside out. She drowns other’s masks in her wake. It’s time to reclaim the word ‘authentic’, before it becomes as disingenuous and commercialized as the word ‘enlightened’. It ain’t authentic unless it’s nakedly true.”  Jeff Brown

The Gift of Giving.

you give

People give in many ways.

It is easy to recognize when someone spends a lot of money on us. We often mistake that as evidence of how loved we are or how special. We use those kinds of gift to suggest the quality of the giver that loves us or of ourselves as in “I deserve this.” We like this because it is tangible and easy to hold up against what others are given and tells us where we stand … As in “better than” or “not as good as.” “What did your boyfriend give you for Christmas? Mine gave me ….” We can be furious when someone spends a small amount of money comparative to what we spent as if the amount we spend signifies the level two people must operate on. Continue reading

TFFT – Love The Ones You’re With.

turning point Aha moments can really hit you.  They tend to be a lot more like OMMMMPH moments (imagine getting hit in the gut by someone swinging a bulldozer).  I just had one of those moments,  complete with alarm bells but just short of some type of holy manifestation where the angels appear and tell me that THIS is incredibly important.

I sat up straighter in my chair and tried to pay attention through eyes filled with tears, some in anger (at myself) and some self pity.  I was impressed I could see at all.

The details of what happened are pretty irrelevant – the lesson is not. Continue reading


“It has always seemed strange to me… the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.”  John Steinbeck


“Pain is physical, suffering is mental. Beyond the mind there is no suffering. Pain is essential for the survival of the body, but none compels you to suffer. Suffering is due entirely to clinging or resisting; it is a sign of our unwillingness to move on, to flow with life. As a sane life is free of pain, so is a saintly life free from suffering. A saint does not want things to be different from what they are; he knows that, considering all factors, they are unavoidable. He is friendly with the inevitable and, therefore, does not suffer. Pain he may know, but it does not shatter him. If he can, he does the needful to restore the lost balance, or he lets things take their course.”  Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


“Create boundaries so that people don’t come into your life behaving badly. Boundaries! When to say yes and when to say no. If you know how to and enjoy to and have a FIRM hand on saying “NO”, put your hand [up]. Boundaries require that you have a STRONG “NO”. A “no” that will PROTECT you. A “no” that will SUPPORT you. A “no” that will ADVANCE your “yes”! Because if you have a weak “no”, you’re GOING to have a weak “yes”. You’ll say “yes” because you feel obligated. You’ll say “yes” because you feel responsible. You’ll say “yes” because you don’t want to upset people. But when you have a STRONG no about what you will do, what you won’t do about your boundaries, when you’re clear about who you BE and what you’re up to and your purpose in the world, you’ll have a REAL strong no. You gotta have a strong “no”. You’ve got to build it from the inside out, so you don’t say YES to things that you’re not clear about, that don’t honor who you BE, that don’t honor the things that you value. It’s up to you. Your no will SAVE you. Be clear. Be authentic. BE authentic.”    Iyanla Vanzant


“Learning how to be kind to ourselves, learning how to respect ourselves, is important. The reason it’s important is that, fundamentally, when we look into our hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn’t just ourselves that we’re discovering. We are discovering the universe.”  Pema Chodron

Today’s Food For Thought

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We pretty much take for granted that people and situations are going to be around forever … but of course they aren’t and so many of us have had to deal with thinking about what the last thing we said and did was for someone we love.

We always bargain with time and yet the only time we actually have is this moment.  There is no guarantee of anything beyond that.

After losing my husband I think a great deal about the people in my life that I love and I try to be consciously aware of what I say and how I leave them when I have to.  I want them always to know how much I love them, and what they mean to me.  I make the time to tell people thank you and to let them know I appreciate them.  I say the things that come to me to say, because I know that you cannot always do it “next time.”