My Bloodied Panties.

panties

Yes, we all bleed.

I am not ashamed of the fact.

I just don’t think it is necessary for me to celebrate it by bleeding all over the place so that other women will feel more powerful. Neither do I particularly want to see other women bleed. I accept other women’s word that they bleed. I don’t need to see their underwear or their bed sheets. I don’t polygraph women I meet so that I can sort my friends into “bleeders” and “non-bleeders” and relegate the “non-bleeders” into the ineffective, powerless women pile.

We read about periods all the way back in the Bible and other texts of the time where it was the practice to have women remove themselves from the other people and go off and live in a tent until their period was over. If the Nasty Bleeder’s Movement (aka the Women’s Movement) had been involved, they would have been angry about them being segregated.  They would have fought for the rights of these women to be able to powerfully bleed anywhere they wanted to, including all over the town, the people and their families. Then there would be no need for all this fuss today because we probably wouldn’t even be here. Blood contains germs that can cause serious infections and while women may have experienced euphoric episodes that could be described as powerful, they probably would have wiped out the rest of their people with some kind of plague.  You know .. the heat, no big box of sanitary pads, not a lot of opportunities to bathe … that kind of thing. BUT you can’t argue that efforts to have women celebrate themselves and assert their right to equality by bleeding everywhere would have been more “fair” to the women. Who likes to have to go to a separate tent for a week or more? That seems pretty cruel. After all, apply the Nasty Bleeder’s Movement primary litmus test to the problem and they have a point. Men don’t have to do it.  Go on, say it with a whine.  It sounds much more realistic that way.  Remember, above all else, all women want everything a man has and more.  We want to bleed publicly. Continue reading

QUOTE

“Shame is universal.  We all know that feeling:  “I am not enough.  I’m not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful  enough, smart enough.”  And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection:  Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, I won’t be worthy of connection?

There is only one variable that separates the people who have a strong send of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it.  And that is, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging .  That’s it.  They believe they’re worthy.

The other thing that they have in common is this:  They fully embrace vulnerability.  They talked about the willingness to say, “I love you” first, the willingness to do something where thee are no guarantees.  They thought this was fundamental.

We live in a vulnerable world, and one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.  But you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can’t say, here’s the bad stuff — here’s vulnerability, here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment.  I don’t want to feel these.

So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.  And then we are miserable, and we are looking for pupose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable.  And it becomes this dangerous cycle.”

But there’s another way.  To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee; to believe that we’re enough.  Because when we work from a place that says, “I’m enough,” then we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us and we’re kinder and gentle to ourselves.”   Brene Brown

Watch the full talk here »